I wrote this about 5 minutes ago, I watch something like this happen today...

SCENE. EXT. STREET. DAY.

A father and a daughter are walking down the street when the little girl (5) starts to pick up snow; the father helps pat it into a ball.

FATHER:
Ooooo are you going to throw that at daddy?

The father notices two attractive women watching him. His parenting impresses the women.

FATHER:
(Chuckling) ahhh don’t hurt daddy.

The father bends down to scoop up snow, as he makes it into a ball he steps back four paces and with all his might throws it at the little girls face.

The girl begins crying.

FATHER:
(Looking over at the women) Yeah! Yeah! I win! (Makes an L on his forehead) Looooser!!!

The women walk off in disgust.

Pause as he stops celebrating.

FATHER:
(to himself) They never want a single parent these days.

END.

...but without the father been that horrible, I just thought it would be funny if that happened.

I promised myself I would'nt write for a week... proves me wrong

Reminds me a bit of the 'competitive dad' sketches where the dad has a kick-about with his son but goes in for a full-on sliding tackle and takes him out etc! Very cruel and I felt guilty as a smile crept onto my face as I imagined the wee girl with a face full of snowball. I feel bad now.

haha I felt guilty too-but i imagined just her eyes steamign and her scarf and hat being thck with the snow

The dad could have packed a big stone into the snowball......Too far?......Yeah ok too far

Liked the sketch though

lol Loved it very good and the punchline was groovy as well good work fella

Quote: Andy W. @ February 8, 2007, 8:17 PM

Reminds me a bit of the 'competitive dad' sketches

View original

The 'Fast Show' did the definitve competitive dad sketches which were always both nasty and funny. I think this sketch is very much in its likeness. Don't know whether the last line was needed but nevertheless, nice structure and very funny.

Yeah I remember them "it's not vant its want! Correct the man!" I didn't intend to copy it but he was more showing off than been competitive.

I had a great cackle at this. That is so my sense of humour. Loved it.xx

Can i just ask, is it just me that wants to run outside in the snow, heist my skirt up, pull my knickers to one side and widdle. I love the pretty yellow pattern, and the thought of that bit of snow being used to make a jaundiced snowman. I love the jaundiced snowmen.

I know what you are all thinking. I am Miss Vulgar from Vile Ville.

Yep.

Quote: charley rance @ February 10, 2007, 3:42 PM

Can i just ask, is it just me that wants to run outside in the snow, heist my skirt up, pull my knickers to one side and widdle.

View original

Yup, it's only you.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops.

Nah i am sure there are other like minded people out there Baumski. There has to be. I demand it. So no one except me has ever wee weed in the snow huh?

I see some flaming pants all across Great Britain. Liar liars pants on.....

Quote: charley rance @ February 10, 2007, 7:20 PM

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops.

Nah i am sure there are other like minded people out there Baumski. There has to be. I demand it. So no one except me has ever wee weed in the snow huh?

I see some flaming pants all across Great Britain. Liar liars pants on.....

Yellow snow does not taste of bananas

View original

I Weed in he snow once, Some older boys told me that how a man and a woman got married getting a girl to eat your yellow snow. Thinking Back it may of been a trick of some kind

No trick Gavin. If you eat the yellow snow of a lady, you have to marry her. Its the law. I once knew a guy, who thought he could eat any ol' yellow snow. HOW WRONG WAS HE.. I still visit him in his coma. You eat it. You marry it. Law Law law. Dont be like my poor ol coma snoes mate. Eat it. Marry it. x

Like this sketch Paul.

Very funny and well written.

Charley

Are you going to write the 'Jaundiced Snowman' sketch? I want to read it now!

Dan

Hahaha!
Ok Swerytd this is just for you. It is total poop, Not a touch on the origional thread, but I just had to do it. Sorry to everyone.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease dont boot my buttocks off for this.*begging on knees*

Little girl. I want to make a snowman.

Mummy. Okay honey, lets go find the best snow we can.

Off they trot.

Mummy.. How about here huney, there is a nice pile outside the corner shop.

Little girl looks around.

Girl..No mummy its to crispy.

Off they slide

Mummy..How about here huney, outside the playground.

Little girl looks around.

Little girl.. No mummy, its too sludgy

off they waddle.

Mummy..How about here huney, in that field

Little girl looks around.

Little girl.. No mummy its far to white.

Mummy.. Dont be racist huney, i told to not to use the w or b word.

Little girl.Sorry mummy, its far to light cream.

Off they skim.

Little girl..Mummy mummy, here this is the best snow ever.

Mummy..Huney this is outside the local pub. This is where daddy and all his friends hang out when they want to hide away from all the other mummy's and their little girls & boys.

Little girl..I want that snow mummy. *stamping feet and falling on her arse*

Mummy peers down and sees a big puddle of yellow snow.

Mummy. Huney this snow is tinged.

Little girl..Yep. Isn't it so pretty. I want to make a snowman that looks like daddy.

Mummy..But daddy has liver disease huney, due to all the time he spends ignoring mummy and his little girl in that pub there. (mummy wags a finger at the pub)

Little girl.. Yes and i want the snowman to look like aunty Fiona's brand new baby.

Mummy..That little baby has jaundice huney.

Little girl. Yep. i know mummy.*puts her hands behind her back, pouts and stares at the ground* I want to make a snow man for baby kayla, and a big (little girl spreads her hands as far as she can) snowman for Daddy. So i want to make two yellow snowmen.

Mummy. Oh huney i forgot to say, we dont say yellow anymore, its not pc.

Little girl. Sorry mummy. I mean offish cream with a tad of jaundice , and a splash of liver disease.