Mr Hyde- Sketch
For Radio
We hear the beginnings of a conversation. Mr Hyde is about to embark on his soliloquy. He speaks with a Vincent Price type of voice or one of those from a seventies horror film.
Mr Hyde
It was then I found out that my sight would gradually deteriorate until after one year, I would be completely blind. (Wails) All would be black!
I tried to hold on, but as my vision began to fail, I found myself committing atrocities so foul, perverted and evil that Satan himself would have considered himself a pansy next to me.
(Beginning to sound more desperate) One particularly dark night, I initiated such an orgy of depravity and filth that it has plagued my conscience for these twenty years past. I felt like I had violated the truly sacred and innocent. I was the man who abused God in his underpants and gone into his kitchen and made a blancmange and a latte out of the milk of human kindness.
(Almost crying in desperation) And now I find myself here in your humble presence; to beg for forgiveness, to beg for absolution. I can’t go on any longer without unburdening my soul of this heinous catalogue of perversions.
Father, forgive me for I have sinned. It has been years since my last confession. You’re my last hope. Can you help me? Please.
Man
Well, I’m sorry to hear that sir but this is a Butcher’s.
Mr Hyde
Oh sorry. Just two pounds of mince and a Cumberland ring then please.
