Hi, me again. Can you please have a quick read of a short scene from 'Worth More Dead'? Follow the links back if you are not familiar with this. I'm always grateful for feedback/praise/criticism/ideas!
SCENE 19: EXT. DAY.
THE MOURNERS ARE GATHERED BY THE GRAVE AS THE COFFIN IS LOWERED IN. THE VICAR IS HOLDING COURT
Vicar:
Ashes to ashes…dust to dusty, we bless the lifeless body of this man as we lower him into a hole.
BARRY AND DEREK START GIGGLING. KELLY GLARES AT THEM BOTH, AS DOES KAREN. KAREN AND KELLY THEN GLARE AT EACH OTHER. THEIR FROSTY LOOK SOFTENS AS THE COFFIN DISAPPEARS.
FILMED FROM INSIDE THE GRAVE, LOOKING UP AT THE VICAR AND CHIEF MOURNERS, THE VICAR STARTS HURLING SOIL AND FLOWERS ONTO THE COFFIN.
Vicar:
Take this soil and these sexy flowers, let them nourish your corpse. As long as you know how to love you know you’ll stay alive, though you lay in your splendid ‘Sandringham’ model coffin, with its mahogany finish and brass handles. Anyone got any more soils? Ah – Karen has Derek’s favourite piece of Dr Who memorabilia to throw into the grave– a miniature Dalek –
Derek:
No!
ALL TURN AND LOOK AT DEREK.
Derek:
…..He was a fine a man as you will ever meet!
HE TURNS AND SOBS INTO BARRY’S CHEST. BARRY COMFORTS HIM BY VIGOROUSLY PATTING HIS HEAD.THE VICAR DROPS THE DALEK INTO THE GRAVE.
Derek: (under his breath)
Who do you think you are, Barry, Benny Hill?
CUT TO KELLY LOOKING OVER
Vicar:
And as we leave Derek to the bosom of Jesus Almighty, some may wish to join Karen at the house where she and Derek shared so much life to toast his……to toast him but not literally of course!
AS THE VICAR LAUGHS ASTHMATICALLY, THE MOURNERS WALK ON. BARRY AND DEREK ARE LEFT BEHIND. BARRY LIGHTS UP A CIGARETTE AND DEREK TAKES ONE, MUCH TO THE SURPRISE OF BARRY. THEY BOTH TAKE A LONG DRAG AND BLOW OUT THE SMOKE.
THE VICAR’S VOICE CAN BE HEARD FAINTLY AS EVERYONE LEAVES.
Vicar:
Aha, you’d have to chop him up into 20 pieces and put him in 20 George Forman grills!
SLOWLY THROUGH THE CLOUD OF SMOKE COMES THE MYSTERY MAN WHO WAS AT KAREN’S SIDE AT THE FUNERAL.
Mystery man:
I’m Detective Constable Mike Traylor. The game’s up.
