Basil in the hospital, being put back to bed by nurse. Looks up in wonder at nurse's face from the bed -
'God, you're ugly.'
Basil hears a knock on the door downstairs, jumps out of bed.
"It's all right dear, I'll get it. Probablly some key who forgot their guest
As I read the quotes on the page I can hear them in my head and can't stop laughing. Character led comedy really is what it's all about. No point having a great script if it's not delivered properly. And as somebody has already mentioned, a lot of it isn't actually that funny on the page. It's how it's spoken that makes it so hilarious!
On the idea of releasing Basil the Rat into the wild:
'Well, he's not going to be mugged by a gang of delinquent field mice, is he?!'
"Do you know what that fire extinguisher did? It exploded in my face. I mean, what is the point of a fire extinguisher? It sits there for months, and when you actually have a fire - when you actually need the bloody thing - it blows your head off! I mean, what is happening to this country? It's bloody Wilson!"
Ace. I could hear him saying that as I read it. 
Having worked in the bookshop Foyles, I did once gain a lot of joy from uttering the line, "a satisfied customer - we should have him stuffed".
Aw, Foyles is ace. Or was.
Basil: "Is this a piece of your brain?"
Aaaah that man... :]
Best sitcom ever. Best programme ever.
Perhaps with the exception of Not Going Out...hmmm.
A few mowe gems:
"Right. Well, obviously if there was a fire you would all be standing down here like this, right here in the lobby. Wouldn't you? I don't know why we bother. We should let you all burn." (The Germans)
"People don't talk that much in the morning... Well look, I'm just delivering a tray, right? If the guest isn't singing "Oh What A Beautiful Morning," I don't immediately think, "Oh there's another snuffed it in the night." Another name in the Fawlty Towers Book of Remembrance. I mean this is a hotel, not the Burma Railway. I mean it does actually say "Hotel" outside, you know. Perhaps I should be more specific. What about "Hotel for people who have a better than fifty percent chance of making it through the night." (The Kipper and The Corpse)
Quote: Jackson Neil @ March 3 2009, 11:29 AM GMT"I mean this is a hotel, not the Burma Railway." (The Kipper and The Corpse)
Excellent!
Also from the same episode:
"Another car strike. Marvellous isn't it? Taxpayers pay 'em each year, they get the money, go on strike. Its called Socialism. I mean if they don't like cars why don't they get themselves another bloody job designing cathedrals or composing violin concertos? The British Leyland Concerto in 4 movements, all of 'em slow, with a 4hr tea break in between. I'll tell you why, 'cos they're not interested in anything except lounging about on conveyor belts stuffing themselves with my money.." 
My favourite though is to Sybil: "Would you like the hotel moved a little to the left..?"
I've used that one at work to my colleagues sometimes.. 
Sybil: You know what I'll do if I find out that money is yours?
Basil: You'd have to sew 'em back on first.
----------------------------------------
Basil: I mean, what is the point of something like that?
Polly: No point.
Basil: No POINT?
Polly: What's the point in being alive?
Basil: Beats me. We're stuck with it, I suppose.
Best sitcom ever made!
This is one of my favourite quotes:
Sybil: Don't shout at me. I've had a difficult morning.
Basil: Oh, dear, what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your eclair? Hmm? Or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long that you didn't have time to perm your ears?
I always (smugly) enjoy:
Basil: Café pour vous.
Mrs Peignoir: Vous? Pas 'pour toi'?
Basil: No, I'll probably have one later.
I don't think the audience got it. But they don't dub laughter.
Ie always liked him trying to hurry the guests.
Basil: Yes. Yes. Yes, well, yes?
Surely the cherry on top of that intricately constructed cake, must be his line at the end of S3E6 - literally Basil's last words:
'Erm ... care for a rat?'
What an exit!
