What's your favourite Basil Fawlty quote. Mine is in the episode 'Waldorf Salad' when he is totally embarrased by the complaints by his guests.

Basil: Unbelievable. The kind of...ARSE!!!... I've had to put up with from you people.

Oh god there are so many.
I think them in my head all the time.

That is one of the official top ten though.

Has to be the "you started it" exchange. Inspired.

The one that always amuses me is when Sybil asks why he hadn't given a couple an alarm call.

BASIL: Because I forgot.

Not funny on the page but in context it was because there was absolutely no point in trying to cover up his mistake. It was all about delivery.

Boy, I've been there...

I love this one to Sybil.

Oh dear! Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your eclair? You didn't have time to perm your ears?

Basil: Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically

Mrs Richards: Don't be silly! I expect to be able to see the sea.

Basil: You can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky.

Mrs Richards: I'd need a telescope to see that.

Basil: Well, may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea?! Or preferably in it.

Classic lines here.

"Well, of course it's a rat. You have rats in Spain don't you, or did Franco have them all shot"?

The conversation on Basil's gambling
BASIL: That's another part of my life closed down
SYBIL: And we don't want it opening up again do we?
BASIL: No you don't dear.

Mr Carnegie: Lack of proper cleaning routines, dirty and greasy filters, greasy and encrusted deep fat fryer, dirty, cracked and stained food preparation surfaces, dirty, cracked and missing wall and floor tiles, dirty, marked and stained utensils, dirty and greasy interior surfaces of the ventilator hood...

Basil: About the fat fryer...

Mr Carnegie: ... Inadequate temperature control and storage of dangerous foodstuffs, storage of cooked and raw meat in same trays, storage of raw meat above confectionery with consequent dripping of meat juices onto cream products, refrigerator seals loose and cracked, ice box undefrosted, and refrigerator overstocked...

Basil: Say no more.

Mr Carnegie: ... Food handling routines suspect, evidence of smoking in food preparation area, dirty and grubby food handling overalls, lack of wash hand basin which you gave us a verbal assurance you'll have installed at our last visit six months ago and two dead pigeons in the water tank.

Basil: Otherwise okay?

Basil: Alright I'll put an ad in the papers, 'Wanted kind home for enormous savage rodent... answers to the name of Sybil...'

Basil: Well people don't talk that much in the morning. Look I'm just delivering a tray right. If the guest isn't singing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" I don't immediately think "Oh there's another snuffed it in the night. Another name in the Fawlty Towers Book of Remembrance," I mean this is a hotel, not the Burma railway!

Basil: Rosewood, Mahogany, Teak?

Mr Leeman: Pardon?

Basil: What would you like your breakfast tray made out of?

Mr Leeman: It doesn't matter.

Basil: Alright then, well you go and have a really nice night's sleep, I'm hoping to get a few hours later on myself. But don't worry I'll be up in time to serve you your breakfast in bed! In fact if you can remember to sleep with your mouth open you won't even have to wake up. I'll just drop in lightly buttered pieces of kipper when you're breathing in the right direction! if that doesn't put you out!

'Duck's off'...

Oh my god, it really is the best sitcom ever written.

(Although I'm sure someone could start a similar Blackadder thread and I would declare the same.)

MISS TIBBS: You do look happy Mr Fawlty
BASIL: Yes, one of the guests has just died

MISS TIBBS: Don't do anything I wouldn't do
BASIL: Perhaps a little breathing surely.

What about this one from my favourite episode 'The Wedding Party'

BASIL: (Explaining Loudly) No it was quite extraordinary, the front doorbell went just a moment or two ago and I thought to myself that will be Alan and, er, and down I came and lo and behold it's not you at all, it was Mrs Peignoir- have you met? Alan and, er, this is Mrs Peignoir, she's an antique dealer you know, I mean she deals in antiques, she's not frightfully old or anything, ha ha ha, and so I let her in not ten seconds later, hardly five, hardly time to say good evening, in she comes, drops her things, just like that, so down I go and over she goes, ha ha ha, and bless my soul there you are, golly, is that the time, my goodness I was thinking it was a quarter past ten, my God, well I'd better go to bed, can't stand here talking all night, got to get an early night, goodbye.

Basil: Well, it does say hotel outside doesn't it? Perhaps I should be more specific! Hotel for people with a greater that 50% chance of making it through the night!!