I sort of had this idea just yesterday. Not sure how funny it is now. Im' not even sure what it is, I'd say a sketch but it's very long if it is one so....

I dunno it's just a thing I suppose tell me what you think. If you go on my webstie http://tompk.cjb.net/home.htm it's titled "The Mac Daddy" under the "Bits 'n' Pieces" section

Cheers

Pretty funny, can imagine Patrick Swayze playing Steve, not sure about the honey bit though, could think of a different way of making her have to run, seems a bit eggy. But on the whole top work

Cheers, yeah, I was thinking the same thing when I was writing that bit, thought it might be getting a bit...dunno. I might think of a different way if I find some spare time.

Thanks for the feedback

I'm probably been very dim or I'm missing something but when I click on it all that comes up is aload of dots.

Lol erm, what the actual "Mac Daddy" link?

Seems to still work for me, do you have a pdf reader? It's in pdf format

HI,
I didn't manage to open the pdf file either. Impressed with the layout of the website. How many hits justifies advertising revenue?

You will need a pdf reader like Adobe Acrobat to view the stuff. I have also now put a link on the site that goes to a website which will read pdf files straight off. So you can try that if you want.

And I don't know Fred, why? What are you thinking?

I really liked the concept. great character personality. I thought it got dry towards the end of the sketch,the honey scene and water and ice skating scenes were weak. the eye colour gag was a little empty, i love how your humour thinks but i think you missed with that gag, tho i know where your coming from with the idea behind it. In all great potential. Best gags, "we dont have a dvd player.." cut to " here i have one with me..." also i thought the dvd having a play all and scene selection was genius. very clever.

Thanks Mamba, do you think I should just take out the honey scene and the ice skating scene or rework them? What was it that you felt made them weaker than the rest?

I liked this a lot. You've got a good character there. Maybe you only need three examples of the kind of woman he is after - the honey one is maybe the weakest although I lke the idea of him wanting a fast woman. I'd like to see where you take it from here - I've always enjoyed watching characters with supreme self confidence and an inability to accept they have any faults - bit like Gordon Brittas or something like that.

Good stuff.

Bo.

Cheers Bohannon

I think I'll try and rework that honey bit, or even take it out entirely, it seems to be unpopular.

I wanted him to look for things that most people wouldn't, you know, you hear people saying "I want a woman who isn't too restrictive" not "I want a woman who is good on the ice"

simply not funnt enough, id put it down to your ability only that there are some very funny bits in it. So work harder so that every scene is strong. You cant get lazy with comedy just to justify the plot. Work at it theres a great charachter there. Its left me thinking if i ever get anywhere id definetly tap you on the shoulder and fit Mc Daddy somwhere. Check out my style in the thread FIRST SCRIPT EPISODE 4. Id re-write those scenes, the couch scene is brilliant, more of that kind of thinking. Remember the key to comedy is to be.. UNPREDICTABLE, in my humble opinion. thats why i like your work. I knew the bees were coming from early on, knowing the punchline halfway through a gag is not as funny....
cmon you can do better!

hmmm school report comes to mind. i apologise.

just to let you know, your bang on the button with the ideas behind the gags they just need more work, dont cut them out, make them stronger,quicker,better... like the new Vanish Oxy !

Ok gotcha, thanks that's a big help.