A couple more I found on the old hard-drive... Just wondering if a theme worth persuing...

SCHOOL CHUMS I

INT. CAR. BUSY HIGH STREET. DAY.

TERRY (MID TWENTIES) IS SEATED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BACK SEAT, HE IS TALKING INTO HIS MOBILE PHONE. STEVE IS IN THE DRIVERS SEAT, HE DRUMS HIS FINGERS ABSENT-MINDEDLY ON THE STEERING WHEEL. OCCASIONALLY HE REVS THE ENGINE.

TERRY: Tina? I’m going to be a bit late. Do you remember Ding-Dong and Emmo… that’s right… Mr Mathews history class. Well I bumped into them, and Petey and Weggers… You do… I used to play footie with them after school… That’s right, ginger haired lad and his mate… We thought we’d have a few pints and a curry, chat about the old days… I know, I won’t be too late… Yeh, I know, we’re still just big kids… Love you to…

TERRY TURNS OFF MOBILE.

Women eh?

STEVE NODS AND SMILES KNOWINGLY. THE CAR DOORS OPEN AND THREE MEN, DRESSED IN BOILER SUITS AND SKI MASKS AND CARRYING SAWN OFF SHOTGUNS AND BULGING SPORTS BAGS, JUMP IN SLAMMING THE DOORS AFTER THEM.

MAN 1: Go, go, go, floor it… Drive, drive…

STEVE FLOORS IT. THE CAR PULLS AWAY IN A FLURRY OF SQUEALING TYRES AND SMOKE. THE MEN BEGIN TO REMOVE THEIR SKI MASKS.

TERRY: (CALMLY) So, what have you lot been up to since school?

END.

SCHOOL CHUMS II

INT. DINGY ROOM.

CLOSE UP OF TERRY SPEAKING DIRECTLY TO CAMERA. THE FOOTAGE IS WOBBLY AND POOR QUALITY.

TERRY: Tina? Just to let you know I’m okay. The food’s alright. Some of it's a bit too spicy for my liking but it’s better than I expected. The room they’ve given me is tiny, there’s no view and the bed is worse than the one in Benidorm… Any road up, I haven’t got long but guess who I’ve met out here. Do you remember Tariq? He was in our science class. His mam and dad ran the take-away on Derwent Road. Small world eh? Gotta go now. Love ya loads. Say hello to me mam and dad. Kiss kiss.

CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL TERRY KNEELING ON THE FLOOR HANDS TIED BEHIND HIS BACK. HE IS FLANKED BY TWO MEN DRESSED ALL IN BLACK AND WEARING BLACK HOODS. ONE HOLDS AN AUTOMATIC RIFLE THE OTHER A LARGE CURVED SWORD.

TERRY: (TURNING TO MAN WITH SWORD) So, have your mam and dad still got that chippy?

END.

Excellent!

Very good

Brilliant!

I liked them too.

Could be simplified though.

i prefered the first one to the second. the second was a bit predictable. in the first one you could have MAN1 get in and say something "like oh hello terry mate" and then have the car driving off.

good though.

I've said it once before, but it bears repeating now...excellent, although I thought the second was more excellent.

I agree with Fran I think the second one was best, I liked that one.

The first one however didn't do anything for me at all, though I suspect I might have felt differently if I'd seen it on a screen.

Funny the way we all see things differently. I preferred numero uno myself as I had guessed the set-up of the second very early on. However the last line in numero two-o did make me LOL

But stout work on both

Number 2 was a bit predicatable but for a running slketch it was good.
Wjhat about a few more?

Cheers folks...

So there is a germ in there then... I'll have to a think about some more situations...

thanks again.

kjs

Great stuff. The second one especially. All it needs is a fade to black and the sound of a sword coming down.

The first I liked too but I'd end it differently. How about instead of returning from the bank job, have him about to embark instead? He finishes his phone conversation and immediately two guys in balaclavas yell "Go, go, go!", force a shotgun into his hands and push him onto the street.

If I had to chose I'd say number one, but having said that they were both well written and clever IMHO.

I'm sure you could get a couple more situations, maybe a rapist and a solicitor.
Perhaps the final sketch being a school reunion invite hastily being torn up, shredded and burned.

Just a thought

Liked them 1st one the best agree they could be used in lots of situations