Quote: Tom Pk @ January 2, 2007, 7:49 PMHi Dan,
Don't worry about being over-critical it all helps. I'm gonna go back and tighten the script and I'm still working on getting the whole thing on the net. Regarding your comment on the stand alone episode specifically, I think this is a great idea, in fact I have written half of episode two and I like it much more than Ep 1 simply because I was a bit braver with it and there was more room for comedy in place of development. Would a production company take a 'middle of the series episode'?
With regards to the need for more jokes and snappier dialogue, I've always been repelled by 'jokes' per se, and I find some of the most hideous comedies being based around gags which a whole scene of dialogue is just a set up to if you know what I mean. I've always gone for comedy such as Peep Show, Scrubs, Partirdge, where a lot of it is visual and just on delivery rather than punch lines. Having said that, a definate tightening of the script is definately in order.Thanks Dan and I welcome any more advice in light of my reply
Hi again Tom
Best advice here is to read the following two threads on this forum: I don't think Callemcio realised he'd started a very interesting thread on the structure of sitcom when he posted his 'Here Be Pirates' thread, but it's certainly worth a read through the whole thing, if only to experience how another first-time writer writes. The conversation that follows after will answer a lot of questions you're asking on this thread. In particular, this thread should answer your questions about your synopsis (indirectly) as I firmly believe that everything you say in your synopsis should be reflected in the characterisation of your sitcom through the dialogue and actions of your protagonist(s). It also addresses your repulsion of jokes, as I think you're referring to gags and one-liners which you're understandably worried about loading your sitcom with, but in actual fact I mean jokes arising from the situation, which is what I thought needed boosting.
On the mid-series episode issue: have a read-through the thread 'Rough Idea' by 'comedy coop' where 'steve by any other name' received advice from the Writers' Room that:
"In general, it's better to submit a mid series episode of a sitcom, as it's hard to get an idea of what everything will be like every week from an introductory episode...."
That thread in particular will be very helpful in conveying a sense of planning and presentation. Not specifically what you *should* do, but you'll get a very good feeling of a lot of people's attitude to presentation in writing and what you should be aiming for.
Again, hope this helps
To the mods, if you're out there:
Is there any way we can have a 'recommended threads' or 'best of' section somewhere? (Obviously, If others agree) the two threads I've referred to above I think are most helpful to sitcom writers and I think are two very useful discussions on planning, writing and presentation and, as we are discussing structural processes, it would be a shame to lose further down the threads list.
By the way, thanks to everyone for making this the most constructive board to be on, as everyone is willing to give advice, be frank with it and, most importantly, willing to take criticism without it deteriorating into a massive ping-pong game of insults!
Dan
