hi there i was wondering what are peoples favorite jokes that they have ever heard?
what bashes your funny bone?
That 'joke' could be set anywhere. Why Lewisham?
i have just changed it, but i chose Lewisham because i have a few good mates living there and we are always bantering about each others home town, when i performed it i went with Millwall because it's a rougher place, did i slag of your home town? if so i'm sorry, there is only one place i slag of in the world and that is France.
innuendos and hints.
physical, slapstick, even rude comedy doesn't get far in my book.
Fave joke o' mine:
A lion, a wolf, a rabbit and a fox sit down to play cards.
The lion deals the first hand, looks at the other three players and says menacingly:
- If anyone's gonna cheat, will get his ginger ass kicked.
I'm sure you didn't get it 
Quote: lewisroberts @ December 13, 2006, 12:24 PMi have just changed it, but i chose Lewisham because i have a few good mates living there and we are always bantering about each others home town, when i performed it i went with Millwall because it's a rougher place, did i slag of your home town? if so i'm sorry, there is only one place i slag of in the world and that is France.
Millwall isn't actually a place. It's a football team situated in Bermondsey.
I live in Lewisham and, whilst I accept that it isn't the nicest place in the world, I couldn't see why you chose it for your joke, as it isn't known for its prostitution problem.
Oh Lewisham, how I rely on DLR services heading to you!
...Wait. Prostitution problem? Shouldn't the subject have been Ipswich then?
Cough
Lewisham isn't all that bad i know, it was for banter purposes, i supose i said that to my Lewisham mate because the place i live in is known for nothing, if you ask someone "name something good from Southampton?" your normally greeted with "errrrr", Millwall is a scary place to visit for a mid-week game during the winter, but anyway, wheeler i am sorry for slagging of Lewisham, i have been to and through lewisham many times and it seemed o.k i suppose i should really stick to just slagging of France in the future, anyway back onto topic physical humour can be funny but it has to be done exactly right, and normally i prefer stand up from the likes of jack dee, jimmy carr, mike reid and my fellow Brummie Jasper Carrot,
Slightly off topic again, I was in Southampton a couple of weeks ago and it's pretty grim. Especially after 7 hours on the f**king National Express. My god! Rhinos Lewis, what the f**k is that shit hole all about? It's a good job I was close to alcohol poisoning or I might have a clear memory of the place.
Sweet (ginger) Jesus.
Quote: Ginger Jesus @ December 13, 2006, 5:37 PMSlightly off topic again, I was in Southampton a couple of weeks ago and it's pretty grim. Especially after 7 hours on the f**king National Express. My god! Rhinos Lewis, what the f**k is that shit hole all about? It's a good job I was close to alcohol poisoning or I might have a clear memory of the place.
Sweet (ginger) Jesus.
(yet again off topic, i apoligise)
Ginger jesus, i have lived in Southampton for a few years and i agree, it is a shit hole, it's worse than grim, thats why most people in southampton drink, just so we can get away from the boredom, the best thing about Southampton is the sign saying "you are now leaving Southampton" it hit's you hard sometimes at how boring Southampton is, i am from Birmingham which is a vibrant lovely place and when i moved to Southampton i was suprised at how crap it is, the people are nice it's just they don't have a decent place to match, although i live in Southampton i don't know it that well, so i don't know Rhino's but if it is in Southampton i can bet it is a little bit awful. i can't beleive that as a city how bad Southampton is, especially when you have great places like Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester, London and Portsmouth, the whole of Wales and Scotland, Southampton must be the worst city in the isles
I am from over the pond and I surely didn't get it!!Valentine
Anyway. Not sure about ever heard, but here's a couple.
What's pink and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with slashed armbands
What's green and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool?
Same baby after a month.
I remember there was a spell when I was at school, and all people could tell were sick baby jokes.
Whats pink, red and silver and crawls into walls?
A baby with forks in it's eyes.
Can you remember? There were loads.
Haha, I don't remember that one. How about these?
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
How do you put a surprised expression on a baby's face?
Feed it into a blender feet first.