Another Basic chat I love doing these as they sharpen my dialogue or at least I hope they do?

GED
There's not even any benches left!

TED
Sit here

GED
I hate sitting on the steps, you look like a tourist or a student

TED
Well, I'm not eating my dinner standing up I'll tell you that. We only get forty minutes as it is and thanks to the lift and the queue I've got about twenty five minutes left

GED
Makes you laugh the way they still call it dinner hour

TED
I got you the 'Meal deal' it was lucky you spotted me in that queue its murder in there at dinner time

GED
Thanks to be honest I didn't know if you'd seen my eyebrow go up

TED
Your eyebrow? Half your face scrunched up

GED
Well, I could hardly bunk into line, could I? And miming an order is just as bad. Not to mention that that feller standing behind you . He looked like one angry man
TED
He is! Last Tuesday when you were off, he kicked a seagull to death on the plaza after he claimed it robbed half his butty. You should have seen how fast he was

GED
He's the 'Seagull Killer'? Its all over the building, I'm not surpised he's fast I've heard he's done a few. Orange Maureen said he use to work in the Manchester Office, but they moved him on because he was doing it up there

SFX Bags rustle

TED
There's yours

GED
So this is the big 'Meal Deal' you bang on about? No wonder I bring my own

TED
Only you never, did you? It's still on your kitchen table.

GED
I told you I was distracted, who the hell expects to have to sign for crap at half seven on a Monday morning? I wouldn't mind the lad on the bike was sweating cobs he said he'd already done ten orders

TED
I've had one at half ten at night

GED
They're at it round the clock, the riders must sleep in the saddle

TED
I got you the BLT, and a water but the only crisp they had were ready salted

GED
Ahh you're messing? You know I hate plain crisps.

TED
Its all they had left

GED
That's because no one ever buys them if there's flavoured ones. Buying plain crisps is like buying a brand-new car for the same price as everyone else, but your ones only been primed not spray painted

TED
They are bland I'll give that

GED
That's the crime, everyone knows crisp are not healthy anyway when they get them. So by rights they should be blowing your f**king ears out.

TED
I got the same as you, anyway it came to six quid thanks to the deal

GED
That's not bad I suppose six items for six quid

TED
It's six quid each

GED
Six quid for that! You should have least got me a coke or something in a can instead of bottled water

TED
You're always moaning about people drinking fizzy drinks with their lunch, you said they must be like gas bags all afternoon

GED
Well at least it would help me feel like I got my money's worth

TED
You're in the middle of town at dinner time, six quid for what we've got isn't that dear. Ah what are you doing now don't do that just eat it

GED
Look at this, they haven't even buttered the corners and the bacons front loaded there's no more at the back. They've just put a rasher in the middle and made the cut so it looks packed! And look at it state of it anyway its 99% fat.

TED
Mines not much better, that pig must have been right at the front when it came to feeding time

GED
At the front! That was probably leaning on the f**king gate trying to get its breath. When it saw the butcher coming it probably saw it as a blessed release

TED
They usually do better

GED
They could hardly do worse

TED
I wouldn't mind but they don't need to do it. They must be making a bomb as it is, every dinner time they have a queue right up to the Army Shop

GED
The 'Army Shop' What do you think they're doing selling tanks and helmets? It's a called an Army Careers Office everyone knows that

TED
You know what I mean, anyway I didn't think they still had them. I thought it was all done on- line now

GED
No they have to keep them open. They get loads of smart ones over the internet that's why we're one of the best Armies in the world. But they're the same as the French Foriegn Legion they know there's always someone knocking around town who's just had an argument with the parents or their girlfriends, they join on the spot out of spite

TED
I don't know if I could hack the army

GED
I could and I'd be better officer than most they'd had. You know firm but fair and quick to react

TED
Like you could be an officer, they go to Sandhurst, what do you know about modern warfare and tactics. And as for the quick to react guff you fell over two chairs when Canadian Colin got that Pine Martin puppet out

GED
They can take the hand off you. Oh yeah, they look cute to everyone one minute and the next there's blood all over the place. I bet that If you went to Toronto right now, you'd be lucky to find ten people who had all their fingers

TED
It was a puppet

GED
But I didn't know that at the time, did I? Anyway, if I did ever join up, I'd join the navy. You know see the world and all that, get a drunken tattoo in Hong Kong

TED
You hate tattoos, you're always banging on about them

GED
I don't hate them I just think that they should mean something. You know like sailors; they have ones that show a story of how they beat the seven seas.

TED
You need to cut back on watching Hornblower

GED
You know what I mean, these days they get a dragon on their back because they'd just got an Uber into town

TED
What world do you live in, anyway you wouldn't get in the navy

GED
I'd piss it , I know I could be a captain right away I'm not that stupid but I reckon I'd make a very able seaman

TED
Doing what its al hi tech now, you forget your password twice a week. IT are never away from your desk

GED
I'm not ploughing the seven seas to be sat looking at a screen. I'll be all over the place on the deck, the first hand at the rope and all that

TED
What ropes? Have you seen navy ships now? They're all super hi tech now with mad shapes to make the invisible to radar. I doubt they even have a rope on board these days

GED
Pppph no ropes, who are you kidding? I bet half the ships taken up with coils of them everywhere you look! How do you think they dock and transfer people from ship to ship in those little chairs and all that!

TED
Well they obviously have some to dock and that. But that chair thingy probably only happens about once every ten years, so they're hardly likely to have you laying in a hammock on stand by

GED
I suppose you'd be in the SAS?

TED
If I had to you know in time of war and all that and given that I'm both a coward and a realist I'd join the RAF.

GED
It would be like Biggles meets Top Gun, who are you kidding

TED
I know that there's no way I'm smart enough to even be outside a plane never mind in one. So they'd probably give me guard duty around the fence, you know with a little hut that has one of those fire drums to keep warm. Then on my nights off I'd be in my long coat telling all the girls in the village pub that I was a pilot

GED
It's not the Battle of Britain, anyway I've yet to see a film where the one guarding the fence isn't the first to get their throat slit, so good luck with all that

TED
Well that me done, where's the recycle bin I hate putting plastic bottle in the bin

WALKING

GED
You do know that all ends up together in the end, they just tell us that ,so we think we're on top of it and...

TED
Speaking of on top, there's my lift see you at 5

GED
Just get the five past five on your own, that parcel lark made me miss the seven forty so I was half an hour late and I have to make it up

TED
See you tomorrow then
SFX LIFT DOOR CLOSES