A man opens the front door, a plain clothes police officer is stood there holding out his warrant card.
The man looks totally dejected.
DS
Detective Sergeant Davis, Shell Road police station!
MAN
Is this about the parcels?
DS
I'm afraid so
MAN
You'd better come in
They enter the living room the mans wife is sat on the sofa clasping her hands looking nervous . At the side of the sofa is a pile of parcels all opened.
MAN
We only opened them to try and find out the return addresses! I was going give them back. I said to my wife that I was going to do it this afternoon didn't I love?
WOMAN
Yes, he said he was doing it right after his dinner, I was going to wipe them down and put them back in the boxes. They're all still like new apart from mini vacuum, that had a broken handle when it came.
MAN
I'll pay for them as well..
DS
There's no need to give them back and they've already been paid for, we found the receipts in his house
MAN
Who's house?
DS
The bogus couriers?
MAN
What Bogus courier?
DS
The one we're discussing.
MAN
If he was bogus, and he paid for them, then why am I getting arrested?
DS
You're not being arrested sir , you're the victim
MAN
I'm the victim?
DS
I thought you knew?
MAN
Knew what? I don't know what the f**k's going on?
DS
The parcels that were dropped off, they were designed to ensnare you
MAN
Ensnare me? All he did was ring the bell stand back then take a picture of my foot next to the parcel with his phone for proof of delivery then leave without saying a word?
DS
You may want to sit down sir
The man sits next to his wife on the sofa they hold hands and look terrified. The DS uses his best 'Victim Tone'
DS
I'm afraid it was the photos of your feet that he was after sir. When we arrested him this morning his home was plastered in photographs of them
MAN
My feet, why the hell would anyone...
DS
It's a fetish sir, they rarely make sense to others. Sadly, he's not alone from what we recovered off his computers there's millions of them and he was in touch with most of them
WOMAN
Filthy pervert he should get ten years for that its pornography!
DS
Its technically not a sex crime madam, the foot is not seen as...
WOMAN
That's how it starts, the next move is they're claiming they love knobbly knees and before you know it there's pictures of your fanny all over the internet!
MAN
Calm down girl, I'm the victim here , why did he want my feet?
DS
Apparently, he thinks your feet are the best he's ever seen. He's fixated with them and he's not on his own either according to the emails that he was getting egging him on to get more
MAN
(pride)
I must admit I have always had nice feet. I've always clipped my toes regularly and they're more downy than hairy. Plus, ever since I was a kid whenever I go the baths, I always go through the foot dip twice, so I've never had a verruca or anything, so I must have sort of sensed...
DS
Interjects
Getting back to the case sir... now we can't get him on pornography, but we can get him for subjecting you to 'Pecuniary Advantage by deception'
MAN
What's that?
WOMAN
Oh my god will my husband need counselling?
DS
No, it just means that he was making money from you without declaring it to you .
MAN
Making money from me?
DS
Of course , the stuff he was putting in the parcels to get the foot shots was just a few hundred pounds worth. He's been making thousands a day selling the photos of your feet and oddly enough he was getting more for the ones were you have socks on
MAN
Were they my black ones?
DS
I think they were black sir yes
MAN
I'm not surprised , I normally wear grey and brown ones that the wife gets from Tesco, five pairs for a tenner. But for some reason a few weeks back I won twenty quid on a scratch card in Asda and I decided to treat myself to a six quid pair of socks, how mads that?
DS
Yes well, all I need you to do is sign a statement saying you never gave consent and I'll....
The man stands up and reaches for his coat that's on the back of a dining chair. He speaks as he dresses.
MAN
Where does he live!
The DS holds up a hand of caution as he speaks
DS
If you're thinking of taking the law into your own...
MAN
(adamant)
I have a right to know, I'm the victim!
DS
44 Palmerstone Road , but if you assault him sir , I have to warn you that I would be...
MAN
Hit him are you kidding? I'm going into business with him, seventy thirty my end
WOMAN
Don't go yet love , you go up and put your suit on so you look business like and I'll iron your good black socks
The DS crumples up the statement and walks out the house.
