British Comedy Guide

Toga Toga Toga


Teddy Paddalack

  • Sunday 16th May 2021, 5:50pm
  • Everton, England
  • 3,459 posts

Two men are standing on top of Aventine Hill.
The first man who is in a toga and sandals spreads a large parchment onto a flat rock then points and gesticulates down the hill as he speaks.
"My dream is to build a city that will resonate throughout history. A city full of amazing buildings both public and private by using such innovative architecture that it will be duplicated by every forthcoming civilisation. I shall call this place Rome".

The second man is also in a toga but he has work boots and is wearing a leather hard hat. His tone is very upbeat and positive.
"Well given the amount of quarries around here and the amount of slave labour we have available I reckon we could build it in a day".

"You're f**king joking ? "

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john tregorran

  • Monday 17th May 2021, 1:23am
  • mornington,victoria, Australia
  • 1,987 posts

They did build in a day but decided to call it Milton Keynes



  • Tuesday 25th May 2021, 11:43am
  • Lincolnshire, United Kingdom
  • 36,385 posts

"You're having a bath"

"Hang on, have you got a pen?"

"How are you going to connect it all together?"

"Roads, mate"

"The thing on the coast?"

"No, not boats".

"Roads are like a solid purpose built pathway".

"Y'know what? I've been sitting on this idea I've had for ages."

"What's that?"

"I call em 'pot holes"

"What do you do with them?"

"There just 'oles. A minor inconvenience really"

"Why would I want that? These roads are meant to contribute to our world".

"If you build these roads, maintenance free. How you gonna tax them? Once they're all built, your income dries up!"

"I suppose you have a point there."

"Even better... you don't even 'ave to repair them. Just paint a circle around it, a few pyramidums 'round 'em"

"You're a well of information!"

"Cheers, you know what they say? "When in Rome..."."