British Comedy Guide

The Dawn of Man

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Teddy Paddalack

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 11:41am [Edited]
  • Everton, England
  • 3,475 posts

A group of long haired naked men are sat around a fire in a cave talking.
One man who is clearly the boss is holding out his hands as he speaks.
"I got these seeds from another tribe many many miles to the east ."

All the men look impressed as their boss continues.
"It is called 'Carrot' and they tell me that after only 5 full moons it will grow fruit so juicy that it melts in your mouth."

As they are speaking a man wearing a bearskin and leather flip flops walks int the cave whistling .
The rest of the men ignore him as the boss continues.
"With these and the ones we have called 'Turnips' we need never be hungry for more that 6 months of the year anymore."

The man in the bearskin scoffs on hearing this and the other men turn around and attempt to stir him out, to no avail.

The boss draws them back to him.
"By the summer solstice the land around our caves will bloom with turnips and carrots and we need never need fall for the same temptations as some of us that inhabit this cave"

The man in the bearskin scoffs again and takes out a giant chunk of meat and gnaws on it as he speaks.
'I don't give a f**k what you lot think those mammoths taste f**king gorgeous. And you don't have to stand around starving like a dickhead for moons on end waiting for them to grow either, they're all over the place.

The naked men around the campfire start tutting.

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gappy

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 5:15pm
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,196 posts

I'm not sure I get it, I'm afraid. Is the joke that it's absurd that early man would be vegetarian?

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Teddy Paddalack

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 6:07pm
  • Everton, England
  • 3,475 posts

Its more about the first person who gets onto the idea of eating animals instead of vegetables, thanks for the read, its not a classic I just like it on a whim so its good to get it read .

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john tregorran

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 6:50pm
  • mornington,victoria, Australia
  • 1,993 posts

My first impression was that you thought meat eaters were more aggressive :)

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Teddy Paddalack

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 7:14pm
  • Everton, England
  • 3,475 posts

It clearly needs work or scrapping I sort of saw it in my minds eye and presumed it worked , still thanks for thanks for the read as it keeps me on the straight and narrow,