TRUMP IS STANDING AT A LECTURN IN THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM. IN FRONT OF THE SEATED PRESS CORP.
TRUMP: I had a dream...
PRESS 1: That's been done.
PRESS 1: Martin Luther king did a whole speech on that subject.
TRUMP: He did?
PRESS1: It's one of the most famous and inspirational speeches ever.
TRUMP: I know, I know. He's a good guy too...
PRESS 1: Too?
TRUMP: Yes, you shouldn't run him down.
PRESS 1: I didn't...you were comparing yourself to him?
TRUMP: Look he's no Trump, but whatever...I mean what if it turns out he is black?
PRESS 2: Mr President! Martin Luther King was one of our nation's greatest orators. He was the leader of the civil rights movement. And he was as black as me.
TRUMP: ...That's what I said.
PRESS 1: ...It's nothing like...
TRUMP: As I was saying, before CNN tried to shut me down...
PRESS 1: I don't work for CNN...
TRUMP: As I was saying, I had a premonition. In fact I had two premonitions. My first was that I was going to have a premonition. So, you see my first came true, amazing! A 100% success rate. Turns out I'm really good at premonitioning, everybody knows this, they all say it. 100% success.
PRESS 2: What was it about, Mr President?
TRUMP: Well, it wasn't about you. It wasn't about your career, you don't have a career. Look this is my last time at the White House lectern...
EVERY ONE IN THE ROOM EXCITEDLY TALKS AT ONCE.
TRUMP: Or maybe not? Who knows?
PRESS 2: We know, It's definately your last appearance at the White House.
TRUMP: Or is it?
PRESS 1: Yes, it is.
TRUMP: Well, we will see.
PRESS 1: No, we won't.
TRUMP: Anyway, my premonition. Not just a good premonition, but a great premonition. This could possibly be the greatest premonition ever. Better than some old dream that guy (POINTS AT PRESS 2) once had.
PRESS 2: What!
TRUMP: So, my premonition.
PRESS 2: Do you think anyone here at the White House will miss you Mr President? Anyone?
TRUMP: Well just this morning, on my way to the press room, I saw Santos, he works in the garden here. Never been caught stealing. or anything like that. which just shows you.
PRESS 1: Your premonition Mr President? What is it about?
TRUMP: I was speaking to my good friend the head of the FBI on the phone yesterday. He said when he comes to pick me up (HE LOOKS AT HIS WATCH) right about now. That he is going to ensure I get what I deserve and I will end up exactly where I rightfully belong. So maybe I'm not done with the White House just yet...In your face dream boy (AT PRESS 2).
PRESS 2: I think you might have missunder...
TRUMP: And Santos, he was crying as he said goodbye. I will never forget his words, "Haznos un favor a todos, abre una vena" he said, then he gave me a gift (HE TAKES A ROLLED UP HANKIE OUT OF HIS POCKET).
ABOUT TEN FBI AGENTS ENTER THE ROOM
AGENT: Please come with us Mr President.
TRUMP: Ah, My friends in the FBI. I was just saying my friend Santos gave me...(HE UNROLLS THE HANKIE) I think he called it a shiv...(HE HOLDS UP A HANDMADE KNIFE).
AGENT: The perp is armed, take him down!
TRUMP IS HIT BY HALF A DOZEN TAZERS. HE SLOWLY COLAPSES BEHIND THE LECTERN.
TRUMP: (FEEBLEY) I didn't see that coming...