1701 or just gone 5 o'clock. Inside the near pitch black bar of the smugglers inn. A few customers are dispersed in the shadows each looking like a pile of dirty rags. In the far corner sits a man with his back to the wall. Leaning back his face is in deep shadow. A tall man wearing a tri-corner hat, with a mass of tangled black hair approaches the table. His gold earing glints in the gloom.
JONES: Is this seat free?
PEW: (BEAT) Let me see.
(PEW SLOWLY LEANS FORWARD, OUT OF THE SHADOW. WE SEE HE IS WEARING A DIRTY RAG AS A BLINDFOLD)
PEW: (CONT') Looks empty to me.
JONES: You are blind.
PEW: And I see you are not.
PEW: It's wordplay.
JONES: But I thought you were blind?
PEW: I am, if you could see I am blind then you obviously are not. Ipso Facto.
(JONES SLOWLY LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM)
JONES: Don't what?
PEW: Don't ask which one is Ipso Facto.
JONES: I brought you a drink.
PEW: What is it?
JONES & PEW TOGETHER: RUM! (JONES SMILES).
PEW: Let me smell it.
(PEW LEANS FORWARD. JONES PICKS UP THE RUM AND HOLDS IT UNDER PEW'S NOSE. PEW TAKES SEVERAL SMALL SNIFS. THEN SATISFIED HE TAKES THE RUM AND DOWNS IT IN ONE)
JONES: What were you smelling for?
PEW: Almond or Garlic, but mainly Almond.
PEW: No, I am allergic to marzipan.
JONES: What is marzipan?
PEW: I have no idea. Who are you stranger? And what do you want with me?
JONES: I am looking for blind Pew.
PEW: And you have found him.
JONES: I am Davy Jones, and I have something for you.
PEW: Please God no, not Davy Jones!
JONES: No, not the Davy Jones with the locker.
PEW: I was thinking of the one with the Peter Tork.
PEW: Trust me, in three hundred years that will be hilarious.
MICHAEL MONKHOUSE: (OFF) Trust me, it f**king won't.
(PEW AND JONES BOTH LOOK AROUND)
JONES: Can I ask a question?
PEW: Is it how did I become blind?
PEW: Let's just say don't juggle cutlasses when you are pissed. What do you have for me?
JONES: Black Spot.
PEW: Black Spot!
JONES: I don't mean the one in the palm of your hand.
PEW: I Know.
JONES: The one where it means you are going to die.
PEW: Yes, I know.
JONES: How do you know? Is it a blind thing, like a sixth sense?
PEW: No, it's a Robert Louis Stevenson made that up, sort of thing. That and I have a missing dog called Black spot.
JONES: She is tied up outside.
(THEY BOTH STAND AND MOVE TOWORD THE DOOR)
JONES: I hope you don't mind me saying but, your spots name, It's not very PC.
PEW: I was thinking that myself.
JONES: It's not the sixteen hundreds after all.
PEW: No, I was thinking of changing her name to Ni**er.
JONES: That sounds better. I cant imagine anyone being offended by that.
PEW: That is what I thought.
JONES: Why are Pirates called Pirates?
PEW: No! Stop it!
(JONES LOOKS SHEEPISH. THEY BOTH EXIT)