JACKSON: [BARELY CONCEALED SNIDE JOY] Oh, good morning, Willoughby.
WILLOUGHBY: Good morning, Jackson. And, no, before you ask yet again, I will not move my booking of meeting room 1 so that you can run your Meccano club.
JACKSON: Oh, I'm not worried about that any more. I'm more worried about the fact I killed your grandfather.
WILLOUGHBY: Are you worried about that?
WILLOUGHB Y: Right.
JACKSON: I'm actually ecstatic about it! I killed your grandfather!
WILLOUGHB Y: My grandfather is dead.
JACKSON: Oho! Sinking in, is it?
WILLOUGHB Y: He's been dead for 2 years.
JACKSON: Well, yes, but I killed him when he was still alive.
WILLOUGHB Y: Generally the most effective time to do it. How did you kill him, out of interest?
JACKSON: With this gun!
SFX: CLUNK OF REVOLVER ON COFFEE TABLE
WILLOUGHBY: I see. And does that gun shoot pancreatic cancer? Because that's an interesting development.
JACKSON: No! I shot him as a boy.
WILLOUGHB Y: You shot him when you were a boy?
JACKSON: No! That would be stupid!
WILLOUGHB Y: Silly me.
JACKSON: I shot him when he was a boy and I was...me, now. Nearly now. I've got this time machine, you see, so I shot your grandfather so that you'd not exist! What do think about that?
WILLOUGHB Y: I think that I do exist.
WILLOUGHB Y: That's not semantics. Anyway, since when do you have a time machine?
JACKSON: Since next week. Will be since next week. Future since. Oh, it's hard to say right - you know what it's like with time travel.
WILLOUGHBY: Not in the least. Also your plan doesn't seem to have worked.
JACKSON: Yes...well, I've not shot him yet. I'm about to.
WILLOUGHBY: But you're telling me you have? That's all back to front. It's like putting your pants on over your trousers.
JACKSON: Is that noticeable?
WILLOUGHBY: Afraid so.
JACKSON: Alright, I'll change it in a minute. After I've killed your grandfather. I got a bit...muddled with the time machine controls, and only travelled back a week instead of 80 years. But then I thought, whilst I was here, I'd come in now and rub your nose in the fact you don't exist.
WILLOUGHBY: That at least makes sense. Afterwards, I won't have a nose.
JACKSON: Ha, that will be the least of your problems! Or, you won't any problems! Because you won't have any you!
WILLOUGHBY: Eloquently put.
JACKSON: So, if you'll just hand me my gun, I'll be off?
WILLOUGHBY: Oh, yes, your gun.
SFX: GUNSHOT, BODY FALLING
WILLOUGHBY: Well, that's all worked out neat and tidy.
SFX: PAUSE. THEN DOOR OPENS
JACKSON: Oh! Willoughby, you're skulking in here are you?
WILLOUGHBY: My dear Jackson. Do you know, I've been mulling it over, and I think you're right, I'll cancel my booking of the meeting room, and you can have it instead.
JACKSON: Oh. Well...quite right. Good.
WILLOUGHBY: Yes. Tell you what, you can have it every Tuesday, starting next week...