BCG Fantasy Premier League 2020/21 Page 49

F**k me, I've shot up from 14th to 13th without gaining any more points. How the F does that happen?

I had a word with the organisers and they saw the mistake and placed you back in 14th.
Say goodbye to your £5 note Herc

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Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 22nd January 2021, 8:05 AM

I had a word with the organisers and they saw the mistake and placed you back in 14th.
Say goodbye to your £5 note Herc

BASTARD, AND SWIVEL....................

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Quote: playfull @ 22nd January 2021, 12:06 AM

Horse, you have 19 points on me in the H2H and i have Martinez and Grealish still to play...what are the chances eh?

Not sure about Martinez other than he should have stayed at Arsenal. Grealish was round here again yesterday against my better judgment. Could still have coronavirus so I wore my double mask. He makes his own great figgy pudding and claims he can only do it on my 1963 cooker. That is why he flies down from the Mids. Also it gives him an opportunity to review the state of my ferrets, now that he has adopted a few.

1 game to go this gameweek
Come on Villa!

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 20th January 2021, 8:07 AM

As it stands, with games still to play, there are only 21 points separating the top 6

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Now only 13 points but could be even less after tomorrow's game.

So who's sailed over Beecher's Brook, who's landed heavily, who's gone through it rather than over it, and whose horse has thrown them off and then gone back to trample on them?

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 22nd January 2021, 9:49 PM

Now only 13 points but could be even less after tomorrow's game.

So who's sailed over Beecher's Brook, who's landed heavily, who's gone through it rather than over it, and who's horse has thrown them off and then gone back to trample on them?

No idea.

But what exactly is a Noseybonk?

Is it anything to do with watching pornography?

If so, well done on its brief five minutes of height.

But I sense it may already have overshot.

Noseybonk was a scary character from a few years ago that no one ever quite understood

He had a big white mask with a long nose
and I can't remember what programme he was on, maybe Jigsaw with Sylvester McCoy?

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 22nd January 2021, 11:01 PM

Noseybonk was a scary character from a few years ago that no one ever quite understood

He had a big white mask with a long nose
and I can't remember what programme he was on, maybe Jigsaw with Sylvester McCoy?

Oh yes.

Thanks Steve.

To use a phrase of someone else.......repetitive:

This show is an education ain't it.

Quote:

"Mr. Noseybonk was introduced to a terrified generation of children (many of whom developed an uncanny knack of bed-wetting) via an innocent TV show called Jigsaw, which ran from 1979 until 1984, although the character, who was played by Adrian Headley wearing a dinner suit and a hideous white mask, didn't appear until later.

Episodes would often see him giving clues via a mimed sketch (he was very, very silent, adding to the terror) to a weekly mystery word. This was after all an educational children's show!

Although Mr. Noseybonk was silent, he was always accompanied by a hauntingly repetitive theme tune. Whilst listened to in isolation, it may sound innocent enough, when combined with the actions of this demonic manifestation it seemed to magnify his malevolence (Mmmn, not a bad turn of phrase)!"

https://reelrundown.com/tv/Noseybonk-A-Childhood-Nightmare

Can I just say that while Furchester have been plagued with injuries and injured by having players out with the plague, we have never been into making excuses and are still pulling up trees. When they decided to appoint me as their manager, their objectives were both traditional and modern as well as rational and straightforward. All they wanted was to pay for the most outstanding international player of all time, pour massive amounts of Russian money towards him for transfers necessary to ensure fair competition, infiltrate the Etihad so as to nick all of the frankly overrated Guardiola's ideas, and, well sensibly seeing I taught Pele everything he knew before scoring 898 goals in just one season at Bayern Munich and coming second at Mensa to the modern Einstein that is Frank Lampard Junior, the First, they chose to come to me.

The Godlike One.

Don't get me wrong. While for purely tactical reasons which emphasise my brilliance I regularly spit out my dummy so as to cleverly suggest that even multi millionaire geniuses can have both the emotions of a two year old child and the prissy or even flouncy petulant arrogance of Naomi Campbell had she been in the Thatcher Government, no one is more pleased than me with me. Sorry, typo. No one is more pleased than I am - are the cameras fully on here as they should be? - that there has been a bit of a shake up at the top with some unexpected teams rising briefly to the fore. Best wishes to them. That's if they can find a way of taking advantage of the 600 changes to the rules, the lack of crowds because of Covid and the quaint irregularities of VAR which will inevitably favour the teams which are currently above their natural station. Given their pasts, the fact that they feel a need to resort to off topic distraction is sad but understandable unless they can find some self-confidence to win every match in the long term as we the truly greats do.

People ask me why my most successful move since the turn of the year, apart from spying on training grounds, has been to make the new club mascot of Furchester, rebranded, Mesut Ozil - and should I have really ensured that he will remain so until he reaches the age of 97? I tell them straight. This - and yes. It was to reinforce our very long historical traditions since 2017 of being a truly global football, clothing merchandise, vegan meal in a windmill, and broadcasting corporation and to give back some fun to all of our supporters. Only I with my unparalleled talent was able to identify that Messie is the world's best for reaching out on Zoom, while dressed in a furry suit that facially at least looks identical to Mesut Ozil, to pass to our adoring their Bovril and nuts through their screens. He has also proved time and again from all his charitable work with dinner handouts and stand up gigs in the working mens' clubs north of Luton that he is not just a future winner of Strictly Come Dancing. He's the new Stanley Holloway meets Gracie Fields.

We love you. We've done great. I think I have done great. We could have built a wall between every country in South America. We are so grateful that I won this election though we lost and you did and you didn't lose it for us as I won. We still love you for that. And, no, we did not have sexual relations with those women.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5Wnxd94z-A

I thought I'd fell at the water jump but come on Villa Keep a clean sheet ( I could have done without the Grealish assist but hey ho)
at the moment I love you more than Gerry McDonnell does

Gerry McDonnell Who's he?
Exactly

A little horrified to see that I'm labelled as third in the league despite having the same number of points as that rambling imbecile Horseradish and whoever Antoine Rogers is.

Quote: Ben @ 24th January 2021, 2:35 PM

A little horrified to see that I'm labelled as third in the league despite having the same number of points as that rambling imbecile Horseradish and whoever Antoine Rogers is.

I feel your pain.

Someone had to be top (I can only dream of such heights :( ) , and even if they did it alphabetically (name or moniker) you still wouldn't be top sad to say.

But cheer up! All together now...............................

"The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow
Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow There'll Be Sun
Just Thinking About Tomorrow
Clears Away The Cobwebs And The Sorrow 'Til There's None
When I'm Stuck With A Day That's Gray And Lonely
I Stick Out My Chin And Grin And Say
The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow
So You Gotta Hang On 'Til Tomorrow, Come What May
Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I Love You, Tomorrow
You're Always A Day Away
Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I Love You, Tomorrow
You're Always A Day Away"

Congrats to all those with 100 plus, especially Shotgun at 139 and summat I aspired to, BUT despite mulling over my Free Hit team to ensure I fielded players who were in teams playing twice (including on the bench to cover all eventualities) and yet I still finished up with diddly squat.

Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that for some reason I have completely lost the plot and am in two minds whether to chuck it in now before further embarrassment, not that it can get much worse - not unless I sink below Dave who seems to have lost interest.

I mean, you explain this to me FFS - Fernandes 8 points, Rashford 3 !!, De Bruyne 8, and Vardy 4, and that's, of course, over two f**king matches. Rashford scores 2 measly f**king points at Liverpool for presumably turning up and then only plays for 5 minutes at Fulham.

Somebody amassed 195 points for Week 19. Mind boggling, and my only consolation is I was 1 point better than the average of 74.
Utter bollocks

Quote: Ben @ 24th January 2021, 2:35 PM

A little horrified to see that I'm labelled as third in the league despite having the same number of points as that rambling imbecile Horseradish and whoever Antoine Rogers is.

Simples.

We have friends in higher places.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDrsmNOzaMQ