British Comedy Guide

A Young Man's Farewell to his Grandmother.

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Rood Eye

  • Tuesday 30th June 2020, 11:27pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 4,103 posts

Super Saturday: July 4, 2020, England.
Lockdown has been eased substantially.
..................................................................................

I have come to say goodbye, Granny Grey.
It's no use to ask me why, Granny Grey.
There's a virus in the air, you can read it everywhere.
It is the time to do and dare, Granny Grey.

Don't you hear the tramp of feet, Granny Grey?
Sounding through the village street, Granny Grey?
'Tis the tramp of total losers off down to their local boozers.
I must say goodbye to you, Granny Grey.

Goodbye Granny I must leave you
though it makes my poor heart pound.
Something tells me I am needed
at the pub to buy my round.
See, the tosspots are all marching
and I can no longer stay.
Hark, I hear the virus calling!
Goodbye Granny Grey.

I shall bring the virus home, Granny Grey,
From wherever I may roam, Granny Grey.
On your lovely face so fair, I can see a look of fear
for you know I'm going to kill you, Granny Grey.

And mum and dad must die, Granny Grey
as well as you and I, Granny Grey:
it's the nature of the virus to internally devour us
so we all should say goodbye, Granny Grey.

Goodbye Granny I must leave you
though it makes my poor heart pound.
Something tells me I am needed
at the pub to buy my round.
See, the tosspots are all marching
and I can no longer stay.
Hark, I hear the virus calling!
Goodbye Granny Grey.

(Acknowledgement to Will D. Cobb who wrote a similar song 120 years ago.)

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Thursday 30th July 2020, 9:20am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,066 posts

Coronavirus must be bad. My mother's legs are closed.

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babydriver

  • Thursday 30th July 2020, 11:37am
  • United Kingdom
  • 9 posts

A good song.

Rood is Harry Potter (comedy wizard). Shytpype and his friend are Crabbe and Goyle. Michael is Michael and his mum is a nice woman, probably.