1: Knock knock.
2: Who's there?
2: [BEAT] Yeah, I'm going to need a little more data. Who's there?
2: No, what's your full name?
2: Your name can't be Dr. Nobody's name is Dr! Just tell me who you are!
1: Dr. The eponymous leader of the band Dr & The Medics.
2: Oh. So, in fairness, you were right to refer to yourself as simply Dr.
1: I think so. Anyway, can I come in?
1: Why not?
2: I don't know who you are.
1: I'm Dr. The eponymous leader of the band Dr & The Medics.
2: Look, I admire your cover of Norman Greenbaum's psych-pop afterlife treatise "Spirit In The Sky" as much as anyone.
1: That's not much.
2: Well, OK, I like it a bit more. But I still don't see why I should let you in.
1: It's my house.
2: Ah. Oh. Yeah, so, I am a burglar.
1: I figured. Have you taken anything yet?
2: No. Only just got here. Well. Half an hour ago. I don't like to miss Diagnosis Murder, so I took a break.
1: Fair enough. But you've not actually taken anything?
2: No. Oh, wait, I did. I had a Jaffa Cake, and some Tab Clear.
1: I don't have any Tab Clear.
2: Right. I had some sparkling water, then. I thought it tasted sugary, but that must have been the Jaffa Cake.
1: OK, I think I can let you off those.
2: And you won't call the police?
1: No. You see...I forgot my key, so...
2: So you want me to let you in?
1: Yeah. A bit.
2: This is a trick. I open this door, that's breaking and entering.
1: No, you've done that already. It's not a crime to go *out* of a building. Even if it's not yours. Especially if it's not yours.
2: Alright, I'll let you in. But you promise you won't press charges.
1: I won't. If you promise not to take anything.
2: I already took the Jaffa Cake and the Tab Clear.
1: It wasn't Tab Clear.
2: Oh yeah, I forgot.
1: That's fine, I won't press charges.
2: Alright, come in then.
SFX: DOOR OPENING
1: Yeah. Yeah, thanks.
2: 'S'alright. [PAUSE] Err, don't know what to, err, say next.
1: No. There's no real precedent for this situation. Unique.
2: Yeah, I reckon. So I might just be off then. Thanks for the Jaffa Cake.
1: Well, you can't thank me for something you took without asking.
1: Yeah. Oh, but just to say thanks, for helping me out, and that, I could sing you a song. "Spirit In The Sky", that's a good one.
2: Naah....you're alright.
1: Course. Bye then.
2: Yeah. Bye.