1: Ah, hear that rolling thunder.
2: They say the thunder is mighty Grothnir tickling his oxen.
1: Aye. Grandfather Grothnir, also called Brithnar, also called Threthnameth, and Snapdraw and Bendlax! Furthermore known as ultrafather, and all-sire, and Padulon the Paterfamilias and Pingu the Procreator, and also called mega-uncle and Martika the sister-in-law.
2: And is he not also known as Oilnak?
1: You say true. Many are his names, such as Oilnak, Boilnak, Glasnost and Clive.
2: Mighty Grothnir, and his tickl-ed oxen! And is it not said that when it rains, this is Grothnir -or, as he is also known, Brandisend and Spatchcock - sprinkling ewe's milk to tempt home a ravem that has stolen his silvery padlock?
1: No! That is not Grothnir, it is his brother, Grathnir!
2: Ah, yes! Grathnir. Also known as Grasmere.
1: And Syllabub.
2: And Clagstain.
1: And Rolandrat.
2: And Flim, Flom, and Superstoats. He sprinkles the milk of his ewe, Spritzer, to tempt back his steel-riveted raven, Calomine.
1: Also known as Gussetmoss.
2: Well, obviously. Obviously Gussetmoss. If you're stating what every schoolchild knows, why not note that Calomine is also known as Threadstitch or Penthnurge or Steven Bloodgrief?
1: Or Jean-Claude Ipswich.
2: You are mistaken, friend, Jean-Claude Ipswich is not the sable raven of Grathnir, also knowna s Grasmere, Syllabub, Clagtsain and so on; it is the blind guinea pig of Skarnor, king of the gods!
1: Skarnor! Dread Skarnor, monarch of the heavens! Also called Gravid, flexing overking! Or Polythene the demongrappler, or Hollyoax, the lung-stretcher, the high fencer, the eagle-swimmer, the toasted palanquin, the breath from Snithinith's pallid tarn, the dew's doomkissed brocade, the triple-headed leopard hammer, the shivering claw, the spanner of gorges, the screwdriver of lunchtime, the lithe cloak-ed pillar, the emperor of holy gracehaven.
2: The big bugger.
1: Skarnor, father of Grothnir, Grathnir, Skittles and Trope. The all-mastering undivided night-sundering time-shatterer of Citreonxsara!
2: Skarnor, before whom each knee must bow.
1: Yes. [BEAT] You don't believe all that stuff, do you?
2: Goodness, no, bunch of rubbish. Anyway, shall we crack on?
1: Yes, let's. [CLEARS THROAT] Hello, and welcome once again to The Infinite Monkey Cage...