British Comedy Guide

FAKING NEWS Page 2

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Saturday 20th June 2020, 10:16pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 70 posts

The British Bumble Bee may be extinct by the end of 2022. All over the UK Fancy Dress Shops report that the Bumble Bee costume is in decline. A spokeswoman for the Fancy Dress Union said. "Sadly the Bumble Bee costume has gone out of fashion and may never be seen at a fancy dress party ever again."

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Sunday 21st June 2020, 9:20pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 70 posts

There were more job losses today. A factory that manufactured 'Bags for Life,' as closed due to no more orders.

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Rood Eye

  • Sunday 21st June 2020, 10:23pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 3,954 posts

Eddie Large used to work for Tesco before becoming a professional comedian. For some time initially, his solo comedy career didn't go well. Then he remembered the store's motto and decided to form the double act that proved to be the making of him.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Tuesday 23rd June 2020, 2:09pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 70 posts

With the news just in that hairdressers can reopen, our reporter asked the owner of a men's hairdressers what protection can they give to their customers. The owner said. "Something for the weekend, sir?"

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 26th June 2020, 1:46pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,854 posts

A man thinks about sex once every ten minutes. That's crap porn he's watching.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Friday 26th June 2020, 8:57pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 70 posts

A mystery surrounds a high tech factory that halted production of the new deluxe calculator. A puzzled employee said. 'Things don't add up?'

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 26th June 2020, 10:04pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,854 posts

Crooks sold a phoney set of scales. Never gotta weigh with it.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Sunday 28th June 2020, 12:27pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 70 posts

There was a breach in security when Boris Johnson's key note speeches were leaked today. A civil servant as been arrested and will be charged under the Official Jokes Act 1989

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 28th June 2020, 4:57pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,854 posts

The Spice Girls' reunion video just leaked. So did I when I saw it.
Next it'll be streaming.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 29th June 2020, 1:18pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,854 posts

The BBC is eradicating any slang name for any black person. Scary!

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Rood Eye

  • Monday 29th June 2020, 2:18pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 3,954 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 29th June 2020, 1:18 PM

The BBC is eradicating any slang name for any black person.

There is a part of me that wanted to quote the above post and follow it with what has historically been a very mild exclamation of surprise.

There is however another part of me that immediately asked me if I'm out of my f**king mind.

I'm not. Laughing out loud

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Kenneth

  • Monday 29th June 2020, 3:15pm
  • Australia
  • 5,368 posts
Quote: Rood Eye @ 29th June 2020, 2:18 PM

There is a part of me that wanted to quote the above post and follow it with what has historically been a very mild exclamation of surprise.

There is however another part of me that immediately asked me if I'm out of my f**king mind.

Jings, no worries mate. I've exercised this gentle ejaculation in Japan and China and no one takes offense.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Tuesday 30th June 2020, 4:39pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 70 posts

A long haired comedian from Liverpool laments there is to be no Edinburgh Fringe this year