The BCG bring and buy thread Page 3

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A Horseradish

  • Monday 15th July 2019, 7:12pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 6,591 posts
Quote: playfull @ 15th July 2019, 7:09 PM

I've only got bitcoins on me - i'll try and find an exchange rate for your required shrapnel...

It will have to be bitcoin.

I ain't takin' none of yer shrapnel, mate, nor any other geezer's.

I 'as delicate pockets.

Primark.

But what I was descibings was all cushty coin of the realm.

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playfull

  • Wednesday 17th July 2019, 9:50pm
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,605 posts

FOR SALE 50 quid cash. NO EUROS PLEASE

One EU banana straightening machine. Not required after October. Would suit Garlic munching, sausage eating European type.
Note in very good condition, as it has never actually been used.

Reply to J Rees-Mogg

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Briosaid

  • Wednesday 17th July 2019, 9:56pm
  • Scotland
  • 1,066 posts

I have (or rather my drama club has) a six foot long banana which is a prized possession. No use offering us £300, we won't part with it.

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playfull

  • Thursday 25th July 2019, 12:28am
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,605 posts

For sale at reduced price.

30,000 Lunches and 30,000 Teas. Probably not needed if England bat the same.

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Rood Eye

  • Thursday 25th July 2019, 12:48am
  • England
  • 3,000 posts
Quote: playfull @ 17th July 2019, 9:50 PM

FOR SALE 50 quid cash. NO EUROS PLEASE

One EU banana straightening machine. Not required after October.

I'd hang onto it if I were you.

If Boris fails to deliver Brexit, that might well produce a Labour government who will bin the whole idea.

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Firkin

  • Thursday 25th July 2019, 3:23pm [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 725 posts

Black bin liners for sale, would suit a Great Dane dog walker.

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playfull

  • Wednesday 21st August 2019, 2:59pm [Edited]
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,605 posts

WANTED

Large Island approx 2 million km2 named (ironically) Greenland. Will swap for troublesome democrat voting California if required. In the first instance please contact 'Donald J Trump's mineral rights Inc', c/o The White House. Please mark any correspondence clearly with 'OPERATION - MINERALS OUT, MEXICANS IN'.

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Stephen Goodlad

  • Wednesday 21st August 2019, 4:20pm
  • Mirfield, England
  • 3,468 posts

WANTED some goals for the football team Huddersfield Town.
Any will do no matter what condition.
Prepared to pay top prices.

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Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Wednesday 21st August 2019, 4:26pm
  • England
  • 16,470 posts

For sale: Heavy who is prepared to invade the pitch when Huddersfield are playing and duff up the opposition. £50 for centre forward and left or right winger, £25 for half backs, £10 for full backs (right or left) and £100 for the goalie.

Doping the half time orange - 50p a slice.

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Chappers

  • Wednesday 21st August 2019, 6:27pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 30,539 posts
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 21st August 2019, 4:26 PM

For sale: Heavy who is prepared to invade the pitch when Huddersfield are playing and duff up the opposition. £50 for centre forward and left or right winger, £25 for half backs, £10 for full backs (right or left) and £100 for the goalie.

Doping the half time orange - 50p a slice.

Half backs? What century are you living in?

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Will Cam

  • Wednesday 21st August 2019, 9:43pm
  • England
  • 7,923 posts

Wanted, a gag for Angela Barnes, STOP SHOUTING WOMAN.

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Rood Eye

  • Wednesday 21st August 2019, 10:09pm
  • England
  • 3,000 posts
Quote: Will Cam @ 21st August 2019, 9:43 PM

Wanted, a gag for Angela Barnes, STOP SHOUTING WOMAN.

Angela Barnes has got loads of gags - and they're pretty good ones too.

I do see what you mean though: she is very shouty! Laughing out loud

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Definitely Tarby

  • Wednesday 21st August 2019, 10:17pm
  • England
  • 1,844 posts

Not sure if it's a popular myth but years ago I heard about someone who put an advert in Exchange And Mart with

"Make money fast, send £10 and an SAE to...." [address].

Hundreds of people responded so they made thousands and they used the SAE to reply to them all with a note that said "Advertise in the Exchange And Mart".

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playfull

  • Wednesday 21st August 2019, 10:41pm
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,605 posts
Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 21st August 2019, 10:17 PM

Not sure if it's a popular myth but years ago I heard about someone who put an advert in Exchange And Mart with

"Make money fast, send £10 and an SAE to.....

Similarly, years ago someone advertised in the Private Eye classifieds offering a 100% effective, safe and natural contraceptive. After sending a small amount of money people got back a note which read "Just say no".

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Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Wednesday 21st August 2019, 11:05pm
  • England
  • 16,470 posts
Quote: Chappers @ 21st August 2019, 6:27 PM

Half backs? What century are you living in?

It was a joke? Didn't the "Doping the half time orange - 50p a slice." give you a clue? :S