The BCG bring and buy thread

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playfull

  • Thursday 4th July 2019, 3:24pm [Edited]
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,605 posts

Items for sale, items wanted and swaps offered. All items must be real or imagined.

Please clearly head post with 'For Sale', 'Wanted', 'Swap offered' or 'Stolen to Order', as appropriate.

No 'air guitars' or 'air guitar stands' please.

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playfull

  • Thursday 4th July 2019, 3:29pm
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,605 posts

For Sale

One 'caveat emptor' £500 or very near offer.

No refunds.

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Definitely Tarby

  • Thursday 4th July 2019, 4:14pm
  • England
  • 1,856 posts

For Sale

Rare 1930s vintage Marionette. Excellent condition. £200 ono. No strings attached.

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Firkin

  • Thursday 4th July 2019, 4:44pm
  • United Kingdom
  • 729 posts

Boris for sale. Mileage and condition are whatever you want it to be. 17 careful lady owners, selling due to impending redundancy. Might consider swapping for a chocolate tea pot.

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playfull

  • Thursday 4th July 2019, 11:50pm [Edited]
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,605 posts

Free to a good home (was previously valued at £39 billion).

One fully negotiated, but unused, Brexit arrangement. Available with optional 'backstop'. Comes with a firm, but potentially flexible, use by date of October 2019. Has been described as 'Marmite favoured' by Cliché magazine. One careful lady owner - who always struggled to get it started. It has been offered three times already but sadly failed to generate any interest, hence the price drop.

The current owner is looking to retire but assures any potential buyer that it will only take a superficial name change to, say, the 'Boris bill' to ensure that it is eagerly accepted at a 4th and please god, final time of asking.

No time wasters Please - you know who you are!

If interested contact -Theresa, at 10 Downing Street, London. Note- mail will be forwarded on in the unlikely event of Theresa leaving no. 10.

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playfull

  • Friday 5th July 2019, 2:55pm [Edited]
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,605 posts

For Sale or available on long lease.

Ex British military airports circa 1776. Now owned by US army.

Note - number and location of airports not stated. Also, please be aware the airports might be entirely imaginary - the product of an infantile intellect - so please take this into consideration when bidding.

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Firkin

  • Friday 5th July 2019, 3:14pm
  • United Kingdom
  • 729 posts

Ann Widdecombe for sale. Comes with a free bag of hot air and some lose marbles. 25 pence ono.

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Briosaid

  • Friday 5th July 2019, 5:47pm
  • Scotland
  • 1,083 posts
Quote: Firkin @ 5th
July 2019, 3:14 PM

Ann Widdecombe for sale. Comes with a free bag of hot air and some lose marbles. 25 pence ono.

25p? for God's sake, that's a bit overpriced!

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Stephen Goodlad

  • Friday 5th July 2019, 6:06pm
  • Mirfield, England
  • 3,481 posts

For sale: 16 million voting papers slightly soiled with an X in the remain box.
Worthless apart from weight in scrap paper.
Buyer collects. 1p OVNO

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Briosaid

  • Friday 5th July 2019, 8:35pm
  • Scotland
  • 1,083 posts

Stephen, even as I write, there's a hit squad heading your way.

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playfull

  • Sunday 7th July 2019, 4:17pm [Edited]
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,605 posts

For sale - One old testament commandment £200 ovno, willing to accept Wowchers.

Commandment No. 7 "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."

The Catholic Church is offering this little used Commandment at a bargain price of £200 or the equivalent in necter points. A spokesman for the Vatican said "It has mainly been used in recent times in boundary fence disputes and is no longer considered relevant to today's dynamic 'God light' organisation".

One of a set of 10 this Commandment is described as perfect for revamping with a little work into an anti-trolling edict. If this sale is successful the Church may well make other Commandments available whilst re wording the ones it keeps towards being more advisory than prescriptive. For instance "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Is being changed to "It's OK to diddle the sister in law, but don't post the pics on Reddit."

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Firkin

  • Monday 8th July 2019, 9:25am [Edited]
  • United Kingdom
  • 729 posts

Harvey for sale. Katie Price has outgrown her son stating he is too big for her to manage , hence he's up for sale. May swap for a small cute self maintaining one, with a proven track records at attracting the paparazzi.

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playfull

  • Tuesday 9th July 2019, 1:58am
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,605 posts

'Swap wanted'

Wanting to swap well paid, cushy job as MEP in the European parliament for similar in UK house of commons or would accept position as British Ambassador to USA.
In the first instance contact N Farage c/o EU Gravy Train, Brussels. Note - don't usually work Monday to Friday or weekends.

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Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Tuesday 9th July 2019, 6:26am
  • England
  • 16,511 posts
Quote: playfull @ 9th July 2019, 1:58 AM

'Swap wanted'

Wanting to swap well paid, cushy job as MEP in the European parliament for similar in UK house of commons or would accept position as British Ambassador to USA.
In the first instance contact N Farage c/o EU Gravy Train, Brussels. Note - don't usually work Monday to Friday or weekends.

Expenses?