British Comedy Guide

The trial of Fredo Garfunkel

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Teddy Paddalack

  • Friday 8th February 2019, 10:14am
  • Everton, England
  • 3,225 posts

Dwarf Fredo Garfunkel is once again before the courts for hitting someone

JUDGE:
If he's not here in 5 minutes I intend to issue a warrant!

LAWYER:
My clients is here you honour, he's in the dock they just forget to bring his stool... ah there we go

JUDGE
Mr Garfunkel I can see by your record that you are a habitual offender, who has shown no signs of either contrition nor a desire to change your attitude

FREDO
So what f**k off!

LAWYER
If I can beg the courts pardon my client has Tourette's

JUDGE
It says here that your client is only 10 years old?

LAWYER
That's correct your honour

JUDGE
Your client may be small sir but even I can see from here that he's at least in his late 30's

LAWYER
He's a Leap Year baby sir, technically he's ten

JUDGE
So how does he plead?

FREDO
F**k off dickhead I'm pleading to nothing!

LAWYER
Not guilty your honour

JUDGE
Do you think it prudent for the court order a psychiatric examination of your client?

LAWYER
That won't be necessary your honour, my clients had several

JUDGE:
Several?

LAWYER
Yes your honour

JUDGE
And what were their findings?

LAWYER
Well after haven taken into account his first name and his surname along with the fact that he's a dwarf with Tourettes and a bad temper who is openly gay and legally only ten years old their opinions only differ slightly

JUDGE
Then what would you say were their general findings?

LAWYER
That there is no way that its all his fault that he gets into so many fights, he's a walking pun

JUDGE
I can see their point

FREDO
F**k off

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Rood Eye

  • Sunday 10th February 2019, 12:14am [Edited]
  • England
  • 4,103 posts

The first and second and third times I read this sketch, I didn't get it.

The fourth time, I still didn't get it but it suddenly occurred to me that "he's a walking pun" might - just might - have been intended to read "he's a walking punchbag".

If I'm right, I think I deserve the Nobel prize for script reading!

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Teddy Paddalack

  • Sunday 10th February 2019, 7:58am
  • Everton, England
  • 3,225 posts

No I'm afraid nit Roody I get the banana skin for a bad sketch , but thanks for reading it three times in vain hope.