- Wednesday 6th February 2019, 12:32pm
- Complete and utter Kent, United Kingdom
- 449 posts
The clip started four minutes in for me when I clicked the link, too. Did you mean for it to skip the beginning, because the last three minutes has far more impact when the entire set is watched.
Anyway! I really liked your set...and I really like you. What I like most is how you jump in and out of pockets of vulnerability, which helps to keep a constant connection with the audience by inviting them to not only feel empathy for the situations you find yourself in, but also feel like you need their support. It's a very clever thing to do You don't just cry...oh poor me...these things keep happening to me. I would work to enhance that.
I'm sure you're full of ideas and have lots of clever observations that you've written down as and when. But I'd really like to see you group some of those ideas into separate scenarios and make short stories out of them. That would really help with long pauses between jokes, where it looks like you're searching for the next line in your head. If they're connected in some way, you're more likely to be able to run straight on without too much of a lull. You already refer to family a fair bit...why not weave the characters you've already given us into funny anecdotes, which also allow you to bring in your observational humour I think you would do well at that.
You seem to physically step back rather a lot to let the audience finish laughing. For me, that means you have to then warm them up again, if that makes sense. This is common with separate, unlinked jokes, so you're not alone. However, I think, with a story in your head that you're dying to tell them, you'll be able to step back briefly into your vulnerability, then step quickly back with...oh, and another thing! Does that make sense?
I honestly think, the more you gig, the more you'll find your own way...and there's nothing like putting yourself in front of an audience for finding out about yourself as a comedian...and what makes both you and the audience feel lucky to have each other.
You'll find that different people give different feedback...and if something just doesn't sit right with you (including everything I just said), don't try to push it. Enjoy what you write and be you, always.