PRESENTER and GUEST:
PRESENTER Good evening and now for something completely different. We expect...
GUEST Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
PRESENTER (nudges him)
GUEST Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Say no more.
PRESENTER How are you?
GUEST I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.
PRESENTER And how do you spend...?
GUEST I sleep all night and I work all day.
PRESENTER Good. And you're roamin'...
GUEST Roamin'? What've the Romans ever done for us? Apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order...
PRESENTER I mean you're going...
GUEST Is yer wife a 'goer' eh? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Say no more.
PRESENTER But I wanted to say...
GUEST Say no more, Squire.
PRESENTER But you're trying to think positive.
GUEST Always look on the bright side of life.
GUEST Just before you draw your terminal breath.
PRESENTER That's funny!
GUEST Life is quite absurd, and death's the final word.
PRESENTER Which means no whining...
GUEST Whining? It's not pining. It's passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot.
PRESENTER The point is, Monty Python have reunited.
GUEST There's still more. (vomits)
PRESENTER But I like everyone's haircuts.
GUEST Every's perm is sacred. Every's perm is great.
PRESENTER And I like the nihilism...
GUEST Ni! We are the knights that say ni!
PRESENTER And the success...
GUEST It was a fantastic success. Over 60,000 times more powerful than Britain's great pre-war joke, and one which Hitler just couldn't match.
PRESENTER And people say no 'cos nobody would recognise them any more.