I also managed a sketch - a rare event. Would particularly welcome any thoughts on this :
Angela : Last week a bakery had their appeal upheld in the high court after they refused to decorate with the words 'support gay marriage'. I love cake and the more iced letters the better. I always ask for 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocius' on mine. Twice if possible. But if one of our political leaders took over a bakery would they decorate with whatever is requested ? Over to the Corbyn Bakery
FX ( 'Ding' as door opens and customer enters )
Jeremy Corbyn Good Morning. Welcome to the Corbyn Bakery. Your message is our message - as long as we agree in principle
Customer 1 Aren't you Jeremy Corbyn ? What happened to May and Hammond the austerity bakers ?
JC Went bust, I'm afraid - and apparently austerity is over. But don't worry we've fulfilled all outstanding orders. Do
you have your ticket ?
FX ( rustling noise )
JC Thanks ( locates cake ) There you go ( senses problem as customer inspects cake ) Everything ok ? Needs more
jam ? I've got plenty of jam. It's very good, made from my allotment fruit
Customer 1 ( inspecting cake ) This says 'Love is....'
JC I know.......you old softy
Customer 1 But I asked for 'Love Israel '
JC We ran out of a few letters
Customer 1 My ticket is 17. Can I ask - out of interest, what was on the next cake you baked ?
JC Ermmm.....Here we are, 18....for a child's football party. Real Madrid
Customer 1 But the word 'Real' - they're the same four letters that appear at the end of Israel
JC Yes, but in a slightly different order - and, of course, it took priority as Real begins with a capital
Customer 1 I thought it was Mr McDonnell who was a fan of Das Kapital
FX ( Ding as new customer enters )
Customer 2 Can I collect this please ?
FX ( more rustling )
JC ( handing cake over ).......a football fan, if I'm not mistaken
Customer 2 ( reads from cake ) We need a 2nd ref......
JC One's never enough, I find, what with all the diving....
Customer 2 But I paid for it to read ' We need a 2nd referendum '
JC Ran out of space, I'm afraid
Customer 2 Only because the number 2 in 2nd is so massive
JC Oh that'll be the cake decorator, Ms Abbott, she gets so confused with the size of her numbers
FX ( phone rings )
JC Excuse me a minute.......'Good morning, Corbyn Bakery......you'd like a cake in the shape of Northern Ireland........
Yes of course we can do that..............Yes, I understand, plenty of icing around the edge of the cake.........but can I
just check - would you like a hard or soft border ?'