ncvgbaes 4- 11.6.18 Page 2


Patrick Robinson

  • Wednesday 13th June 2018, 10:41am
  • Birmingham, United Kingdom
  • 82 posts

Lots to enjoy this round: Playfull nursery rhyme was fun, have you read the lyrics to "Hush little baby, don't say a word".....? Seems to be saying the solution to a crying baby is to fill your house full of animals. But overall, Michael gets my vote. Enjoyed the Postman interview very much. Cheers.


Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 13th June 2018, 12:40pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,657 posts
Quote: Flook @ 12th June 2018, 1:41 PM


My mother used to say that when it wasn't okedokes at all. I'm over it now.



  • Wednesday 13th June 2018, 1:53pm
  • Tipperary, Ireland
  • 1,015 posts

I thought this week was particularly strong and honestly enjoyed all of them. I whittled it down to a top 5 which didn't help at all so I whittled much further. Crindys doctor sketch was great but Gappy pips it with his pythonesque (in more ways than one) brilliance.



  • Thursday 14th June 2018, 6:09pm
  • Oxford, England
  • 1,951 posts
Quote: playfull @ 12th June 2018, 10:52 PM

Did i rip you off Gappich? I must admit it felt horribly familiar when i wrote it!

Nope, just coincidence, I've never posted my old sketch here. I shall once the voting has finished, just out of interest. Yours is neater, anyway.



  • Saturday 16th June 2018, 3:11pm
  • Oxford, England
  • 1,951 posts

Just for the record...

SALES: And, with its sturdy wipe-clean carapace and luxurious, florally scented integral

super-down cushioning, the Babysoft Hyperslumber is a revolution in cradle

technology, and I urge you to invest in the product for a rosy future: whilst the babe

snoozes soundly, the money comes rolling in.

1: Well, that was a very impressive pitch, Mr Huckerberry. I can see many advantages

in your specialist cot design, but there is one question that troubles me. I wonder,

perhaps, whether the thought has crossed the minds of any of my colleagues.

2: Yes, I had a little worry, a minor qualmette, if you will: I'm not sure that

the huge cast iron grapple that you have connected to the cradle is quite congruent

with the rest of the design.

3: Yes, that was what I wondered. The vast clamp system does seem at odds with the

bunny motif print, fetching though it is.

SALES: Ah, you've noticed that. Well, first up, I suspect the average mother in the street

won't have your expert eyes, and many people probably wouldn't even spot the


1: The massive metal chain.

SALES: The massive metal chain, yes. But, more importantly, although it might be slightly

awkward visually, I can assure you that it's absolutely essential. For,

gentlemen, without the aid of a sturdy suspension device like this, there would be no

sure method of securing the cradle to the treetop.

2: Treetop?!

SALES: Quite so. Safety first, my friends, safety first and aesthetics second.

3: Sorry, can I just go back to my colleague's earlier comment of...treetop?!

SALES: Treetop, indeed.

1: As in the top of a tree?

SALES: Aha! Yes, I was saving the best until last! The Babysoft Hyperslumber is a labour

saving device that not only frees Mum up for her busy lifestyle, but also runs entirely

on natural, renewable energy. All you do is attach the crib to a treetop -

you see, suddenly massive metal chain doesn't seem so dumb! - and the baby will

be lulled to sleep in nature's caring arms.

1: Oh, I see! So, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock?

SALES: Got it in one.

2: Ah, well, that's a brilliant idea.

1: Yes, I think you can count us as all in favour of this marvellous innovation. Shall we

discuss costs?

3: No, hang on a minute, I can think of an issue.

2: Oh, yes: birds! Birds might sit on the baby.

3: Well, yeah, they might, but more importantly -

1: Rain! You'd need a tarpaulin of some sort to keep out the rain.

3: Forget the tarpaulin! When the wind blows the cradle will rock,

right, all very nice and cosy, but what about when the bough breaks?

SALES: Well, that's a not a big deal. When the bough breaks the cradle will f- oh.

1: F**k a duck! I didn't think of that.

2: No nor did I. Neither did I think of how the parent would get the cradle up the tree,

how the parent would get down from the tree, what to do if you don't have a tree, and

that it's stupid to involve a tree.

SALES: Yes, well, you've caught me on all those issues, I have to admit. Funny, all those

months of research and computer modelling, and this stuff never came up. You live

and learn. Pity I didn't have a baby of my own, the problem might have been evident


3: You're not a family man, then?

SALES: Oh, no, we had a baby...and then there was that little mixup with the bathwater...

AvatarBCG Supporter


  • Saturday 16th June 2018, 7:03pm
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,471 posts

Phew...slightly different!!

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