OLD WOMAN DRESSED IN KARATE OUTFIT
MAKING KARATE MOVEMENTS AND KARATE SHOUTS AND GRUNTS.
SHE SITS DOWN WITH YOUNG PEOPLE STILL MAKING KARATE NOISES.

"HELLO, I'M THE FEMALE OVER 80s WORLD PAPERWEIGHT KARATE CHAMPION.
I DEFEND MY TITLE AT THE O2 SATURDAY NIGHT.
COME ALONG IF YOU DON'T MIND BLOOD.
I'VE GOT TO WIN, IT'S A £1OOO PAYDAY AND I NEED THE MONEY
YOU SEE WHEN I'M IN TRAINING AT THE PEAK OF MY POWERS, I HAVE REFLEXES LIKE A CAT
BUT LAST NIGHT MY DEAR HUSBAND BROUGHT ME A CUP COCOA............ON MY BLIND SIDE.
AND I NEED THE MONEY TO SEND HIM PRIVATE TO HAVE HIS JAW RESET.

This sketch is aimed at the ITV show Off their Rockers