Quote: ContainsNuts @ 26th July 2017, 11:28 AM

I think it's worth mentioning I won the H2H last season as no else did!

View original

Oh dear, sorry Ant (If I may call you that? You can call me earwig ) I forgot to hand over the trophy.....................that I won the previous season, and had its name changed at the last meeting of the BCG Clique in honour of my finest hour, to the Herc2Herc cup.

It's in the post and no using Brillo pads on it to shine it up! (or to buff out my name)

Congrats. by the way.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 26th July 2017, 11:42 AM

Oh dear, sorry Ant (If I may call you that? You can call me earwig ) I forgot to hand over the trophy.....................that I won the previous season, and had its name changed at the last meeting of the BCG Clique in honour of my finest hour, to the Herc2Herc cup.

It's in the post and no using Brillo pads on it to shine it up! (or to buff out my name)

Congrats. by the way.

View original

I hate being called Ant. So do with that info what you wish.

To be fair, I only first looked at that league in April so it was a very pleasant surprise.

Dec it is then.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 26th July 2017, 11:11 PM

Dec it is then.

View original

Perfect!

Can someone shut that door! There's a Draft in here.........................

"The Scout answers your questions on the exciting new addition to the Fantasy Premier League season" :-
Really? I got lost half way down the Q&A. Perhaps it's not for old farts like me.

Oh dear, now I've wet myself thinking about the new season starting.

Anton Dec?

Despite being snowed-under with all the activity on this thread, I managed today to watch bits of friendlies involving Arsenal, Everton, Saints, Liverpool and Palace. A couple of Liverpool players do look interesting, but trying to second-guess Klopp's selection is difficult. I haven't got a clue what he thinks his best team is and I suspect he doesn't either.. which would actually be quite normal. Same goes for Wenger and de Boer, so I shall avoid certain players (at least for 15 minutes). It would be nice to hear some input from resident gurus like the Dalai Gerry and Sri Baghwantondec, with Tsu-Nshine and A Man Called Horseradish too (I've given up waiting for Godot), but failing that, I'll make do with Herc and his plethora of tips. Happy daze.

Quote: SSTT @ 29th July 2017, 11:43 PM

I'll make do with Herc and his plethora of tips. Happy daze.

View original

At least I'm on here.

OK, your starter for 11 - pick the bones out of this team..................

Ed Bailey
Roy Bentley
John Milburn
Jimmy Mullen
Stanley Matthews
Alf Ramsey
Willie Watson
Stanley Mortensen
Tom Finney
Bert Williams
Eddie Ditchburn

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 30th July 2017, 7:23 AM

OK, your starter for 11 - pick the bones out of this team..................

Ed Bailey
Roy Bentley
John Milburn
Jimmy Mullen
Stanley Matthews
Alf Ramsey
Willie Watson
Stanley Mortensen
Tom Finney
Bert Williams
Eddie Ditchburn

View original

Eh? Wassat, Herc? I've never heard of any of those players (I'm only in my early 20s), but my great granddad reckons that the following team would whip your team anyday:

Shilton

Breitner
Briegel
Beckenbauer
Sansom

Zidane

Messi
Maradona
Cruyff
Rogers

Pele

But back to the clique in hand: after watching all those friendlies, I reckon that it would be best to

Ting a Ling! Ting Ting - you've never heard of at least Stanley Matthews or Alf Ramsey...............I don't know, kids today. You know nuffink

Well, it helps to pass the time of day - you wait, in about a week or so you won't be able to get on this thread, let alone post on it for armchair pundits.

Quote: SSTT @ 29th July 2017, 11:43 PM

Despite being snowed-under with all the activity on this thread, I managed today to watch bits of friendlies involving Arsenal, Everton, Saints, Liverpool and Palace. A couple of Liverpool players do look interesting, but trying to second-guess Klopp's selection is difficult. I haven't got a clue what he thinks his best team is and I suspect he doesn't either.. which would actually be quite normal. Same goes for Wenger and de Boer, so I shall avoid certain players (at least for 15 minutes). It would be nice to hear some input from resident gurus like the Dalai Gerry and Sri Baghwantondec, with Tsu-Nshine and A Man Called Horseradish too (I've given up waiting for Godot), but failing that, I'll make do with Herc and his plethora of tips. Happy daze.

View original

I am A Man Called Horseradish.

Dear Sir, Madam, Boys and Girls,

Burnley will not win the Premiership this year so best not to pick their players. If you have already done so, Turf Moor them out. Newcastle have the same team that went down two years ago including Shelvey and Colback who I predict will again be Shelvey and Colback. Everyone will be hindered by zero hours contracts and rationed lavatory breaks. Chelsea - Alonso might score four and will consequently be their second highest goalscorer. But the team will be kicked out of the league as soon as it goes bust. Think February. Remember their owner is likely to be repatriated when Trump starts war with Russia and we need to boost our post Brexit special relationship with the US. West Brom will stun everyone by moving from 0-0 draws to having mainly 0-0 draws and one of the season's top 10 strikers. I am not saying which one.

Leicester - the smart money is on Mahrez to surprise in either a good way or a bad way. Albrighton will continue to be favoured by those looking for a clever cheap option that isn't very clever at all. Happens every year now. Southampton have managed so far to have no pre season, especially in the transfer market. Secrecy? They are the new GCHQ. . Long or Austin or Gabbiadini upfront? I know which one I'd choose but that needs to be counter-balanced by the number of months he could be in court. Palace - is Riedewald the new Alderweireld or has he just been bought to make a monkey out of ff managers who are uncomfortable with difficult foreign names and mostly drunk? Brighton and Green Council Albion - Hughton if you want to........Lady Caroline Lucas is not for turning. Yo. Slam Dunk the funk and Hove a nice day!

More helpful comments later.

And yes here are some more.

Spurs - Harry Kane never sets his alarm clock until at least Game 8. Their second striker - Jan Whatchamacallim - will never be played again and I predict he will escape in January to his natural home in the Netherlands. Alli will become the new Mahrez. The Mahrez of last season. Swansea will submit an audacious late bid for Eriksen and fail but the uncertainty of it all which will last at least 24 hours will lead to a lack of confidence in the player continuing to March. In spite of the failed bid and the fact that they will have already lost their last remaining effective player - you know which one - the Welsh club will finish the season as the highest placed team in Wales. The thing about Swansea that you have to remember is they have Mawson. Half decent, he will be their highest ranking player in terms of goals, assists, passes, penalties, free kicks, defensive blocks and goal saves. He will also around Christmas time become player manager and the new club mascot.

Huddersfield - now, the best player here is Mooy whose name is a derivation of Mooi, the acquired surname of CJ de Mooi, born Yorkshire, ex Egghead, male model and very close friend of Daphne. Wouldn't recognise a football by his own admission. Still, having them in the top flight does at least keep out Leeds. Liverpool - Robertson has been bought to address the problem they have had for several centuries or so it seems with left backs. Good for them. Except that is that Klopp has already said he isn't automatically going to be in the first team. The maverick boss has also kept or acquired at least a dozen players who on paper could be the top goalscorer of the season. But none will get more than half the games and most will be brought on for only ten minutes. Too many riches. There will be thrills and spills but confusion will reign.

Watford - one of the lowest points in all my years of radio listening was hearing Colin Murray fawning over one of their recent "exotic" managers. It took the word bromance onto an entirely different level. Well, they are both somewhere else now and the faithfuls have all gone quiet as another boss of equally exotic credentials seems less likely now we are in August. There is still time, though, for the arrival of, say, a Malawian king, one who is in the seventieth generation of kora players and a great great cousin of Princess Grace of Monaco. That time will be in early October when the team is languishing at the bottom of the table and 75% of fantasy football managers are asking why the hell they picked Capoue.

Everton - Is the literal English translation of Koeman "coalman"? I only enquire because that is the word that springs to my mind whenever I hear it whereas at least with his player Coleman I do think of someone who understands football when he isn't injured until 2018. The squad is a total mess and it doesn't bode well given how harsh are their early fixtures. Rooney will disappoint, Holgate will be under-estimated, Mirallis will be underplayed and Baines will be easily crocked with no obvious replacement. Cheers Ron, if you could just stick the bags in the scuttle over there that would be great mate.

All the ladeez in the house say whoa-whoa, whoa whoa, Men say Oops Upside Your Head, I say Oops Upside Your Head.

Thank you for your further enquiry - we hope to reply very soon.

So now we have had starters and the main course it is time for pudding or what the posh people call sweet or afters.

Arsenal - Let's face it. Manager Arsene Wenger who admittedly I like would not still be there if he had been Christened Spursene. But he wasn't so he is and now he has spent big money again on half an answer in the form of Lacazette, part lacking and part gazette. So it doesn't take a genius to predict how the news is likely to flow sooner rather than later. We've been here before with what is fast becoming Dirty Sanchez and before him Ozil who rather like Mr Benn magically changes clothes except in his case it is Superman who gets off every plane he travels on into Germany. And it is Steptoe who shuffles off every plane that brings him back into Heathrow, toothless, gurning and incredibly petulant for a man who drifts in and out of matches more than would a man over 60. Lesser stars arrive, of course, and new exciting youngsters appear but no one ever knows who is to be played and what the game plan will be. Same as it ever was but one thing is guaranteed. The Ox will be regarded, oddly, as having lots of promise while struggling again to score goals.

Man Utd - Lukaku-ku-ku. From memory, not many hat tricks in his glorious past. Just sayin'. Some say he will be best served by Mata, that is, if Mata isn't injured and how ironic seeing that those are the two who Mourinho believed were absolute rubbish. Jose, some are truly great. Some get lucky and are consequently seen as very astute. Pogba anyone? Mkhitaryan? We'll soon see. Lindelhof is currently popular but don't expect consistency in defensive team selection. Or anywhere else. And who knows about the future of Ibrahimovic. West Ham United - This is a team that plays in London. It could finish in the top seven or the bottom four but it will not finish anywhere between those two points. It has some very fine players who could achieve more than they have done. 95% of them have names which end in a vowel or a w. Bournemouth - Pluses - Josh King and the arrival of Defoe. The big minuses - they will lose all confidence when losing the first south coast derby to Brighton and their manager will leave in late season to be the new manager of England.

Stoke City - Supported by Sugar Ray Leonard, Norwegian band A-ha, Jeremy Paul who was a writer of Midsommer Murders and Julian Clary. "Morten of A-ha's passion for the Potters was started by his brother. The two shared a room, and while Morten tended to his orchids, his brother pinned up posters of Victoria Ground legends all around the walls. "My younger brother was a big Stoke fan, and I was sucked into it," says Morten. "I was kind of waking up every morning and looking at Gordon Banks face!" "We had all these small football cards - literally hundreds of them, and swapping them was the currency back then."" Oh, the team itself? Cameron. Pieters, Shawcross, Crouch.............yep they are all still there.

Man City - Ah now, come on, what do you expect? Spoon feeding? I really don't think I can help you all any more than I have to try to win this game. I know what I said this time last year when Talksport were saying that a Guardiola led side with all that money could win the title with a gap of 20 points. That it was total bull far worse than anything that would be said by what is in my opinion their overrated fella. One who like Mourinho has happened to have luck. That anyone could think of off-loading Aguero at any time is beyond my comprehension and that it should have been the case for so long when the role of Jesus wasn't fully decided was downright mad. Sure, their midfield looks quite strong and they now have Walker in defence but their fate depends largely on whether there is decisiveness and if there is how effective the key decision will be. Play one? Play both? I still don't think he knows so neither will fantasy football managers, will they?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914

I hope this is a satisfactory reply.

Please call again if you are ever in the vicinity.

Horse Radish
1 Horse Radish Street
Horse Radish Town
County of Horse Radish Shire
HR1 1HR

Horse! I think the buttons are stuck down on your keyboard again.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 2nd August 2017, 3:56 PM

So now we have had starters and the main course it is time for pudding or what the posh people call sweet or afters.

<SNIP>

View original

What a series of delightful and thought-provoking insights from Imam Called Horse.

Reading between the lines, it seems to be a Mawson type of upcoming season.

If I might add a saintlike afterthought? Gabbiadini is the laziest striker I've ever seen, bar the other ones. He will not chase down any defender unless said defender is within 2.5 inches distance. He leaves his teammates to do all the actual graft, which must surely start to grate on the pitch and in the dressing room, unless he changes his ways. Yet there is a gem not a million miles away from our latin friend, whose name is