British Comedy Guide

Walking at Night (Short Cartoon)

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Yacob Wingnut

  • Monday 29th May 2017, 2:35pm
  • England
  • 705 posts

Hi All

Quick cartoon of mine: https://youtu.be/mNU_9qJKo84 .

Looking forward to your comments and criticisms on the script, look, acting, sound and everything else!

Best Wishes
Yacob

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gappy

  • Monday 29th May 2017, 4:08pm
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,016 posts

I generally love your stuff, but I'm not sure I follow this: a were-/ware- pun?

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Yacob Wingnut

  • Monday 29th May 2017, 4:32pm
  • England
  • 705 posts

'Fraid so. Hope I do better by you next time.

Thanks for watching and commenting!

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gappy

  • Monday 29th May 2017, 5:40pm [Edited]
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,016 posts

Fair enough. There's nowt wrong with the joke* I just couldn't put my finger on the gag in the few seconds with other data to sift (eg, does the title refer to anything specific? Who's Tim?). My failing, qwuite possibly.

The animation was very nice, incidentally. :)

* Of course, the joke doesn't actually work, linguistically: a were-house would be a man who turned into a house, not a house who turned into a wolf. Errr Sorry, pedantic to the last.Rolling eyes

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Yacob Wingnut

  • Wednesday 31st May 2017, 10:07am [Edited]
  • England
  • 705 posts

Cheers Gappy

I'm fine with being pedantic (I 'write' and 'animate' - both of which sometimes require stupidly high amounts of pedantry). I knew that the pun doesn't work when looked into but thought, "Ah, screw it - I'll make it anyway." (not the right attitude to have.)

Thanks for saying it looks nice. I think this cartoon looks OK compared to other things I've animated. It's odd that I've improved because I've not practiced much recently.

Having the warehouse turn into a man might've been a much better pun. Though (possibly) less visually interesting.

Thanks again
Yacob

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playfull

  • Friday 2nd June 2017, 8:21am [Edited]
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,693 posts

I agree with Gappy. I had to watch it twice to get it. I think it is the use of 'Tim's' i was distracted by thinking is he Tim? so did not immediately get the gag.

Could you edit out 'Tim's'? and see if it works better?

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Yacob Wingnut

  • Tuesday 6th June 2017, 7:32pm
  • England
  • 705 posts

Thanks playfull. You might be right about deleting "Tim's". I put that up originally because I was worried the punchline would be too obvious if I didn't insert a few red herrings (not that the punchline is worth waiting for either way).

Problem is, I've already put the video onto youtube's public option, which means if I re-upload it it'll be sent to my subscribers twice. I don't have many subscribers but I'd still rather not inconvenience them. I should have kept the video on youtube's unlisted option until I made it as good as it could be (something I will definitely do next time).

Oh well. Hopefully my next effort will be better :) .

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Stephen Goodlad

  • Tuesday 6th June 2017, 8:49pm
  • Mirfield, England
  • 3,492 posts

Hi Yacob. I watched your cartoon when you first posted it here.
I didn't 'get it' but I did marvel at your skill.
I loved the drawing and voicing and was surprised how short it was.
I played it several times still not getting it but enjoying it.

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Yacob Wingnut

  • Tuesday 6th June 2017, 9:39pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 705 posts

Thanks Stephen

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 6th June 2017, 8:49 PM

I played it several times still not getting it but enjoying it.

Obviously it was my ingenious plan to make something with an ungettable punchline so that people would watch more than once in their attempt to get it.