VOICEOVER: [Infuriating radio advert tones] I'm here to tell you about Boscombe's Holidays. Do you remember how great it felt when you swam with dolphins?
VOICE 1: No.
VOICEOVER: You don't remember?
VOICE 1: I've never done it.
VOICEOVER: I see. Well, this advert's not for you, please don't talk again.
VOICE 1: OK, no problem.
VOICEOVER: [Annoyed growl] Do you remember how great it felt when you swam with dolphins?
VOICE 2: Yes!
VOICEOVER: And would you like to relive that feeling?
VOICE 2: The feeling of remembering?
VOICEOVER: No, the feeling of the actual swimming.
VOICE 2: Then, yes! Tell me more.
VOICEOVER: A Boscombe Holiday is perfect for you. Just as you spent heart-tickling time circling some mammalian pack animals in Florida, you can do the same right here in Tadcaster - plus we have more different types of pack mammals, and you won't even get wet!
VOICE 3: I have never had a more spiritual experience than jogging with heifers.
VOICEOVER: And how did it feel, third person here?
VOICE 3: Amazing. I could jog near the heifers, jog round the heifers - touching them was the most intense experience, we shared a bond. A bond and a field. I could run next to them for a bit, stop, do...the first one again. The options were infinite!
VOICEOVER: Yes, trotting towards livestock is the same as swimming with dolphins, don't think about it too deeply. Book today and, in addition to jogging with heifers we'll throw in bonus sessions of scampering with sheep, hiking with bullocks and orienteering with llamas! If we get any llamas!
VOICE 2: That sounds incredible!
VOICE 3: It was incredible!
VOICE 1: Can I go now? Because it looks as though you're pretty much done.
VOICEOVER: Book your trip running near cattle now - because it's basically no more stupid than something that already exists!