PREDATOR: I'm Home! Where are you?
ALIEN: I'm in the kitchen.
PREDATOR: Hello darling, had a nice day?
ALIEN: About time, where have you been? And don't put those skulls on the table.
PREDATOR: Well where should I put them? And where are the bodies I left hanging from the ceiling?
ALIEN: I moved them into the spare room. They were dripping blood and spinal fluid all over the kitchen floor.
PREDATOR: Oh! I can't have my trophies hanging from the kitchen ceiling but you can have the milkman and the postman glued to the wall. Is that the man from the flat upstairs?
ALIEN: Yes, he came down to complain about all the screaming.
PREDATOR: So you glued him to the wall?
ALIEN: I had to, it was his wife doing the screaming.
PREDATOR: How many times have I told you - don't attack the neighbours.
ALIEN: Well it wasn't me who hung his wife from the kitchen ceiling was it.
PREDATOR: Oh right. Well I suppose we had better look for a new place...
ALIEN: Somewhere with a nursery?
PREDATOR: Somewhere a bit quiet....wait, a nursery?
ALIEN: Yes, we are expecting!
PREDATOR: You mean you are pregnant?
ALIEN: Well technically it's you that's pregnant.
PREDATOR: I thought you were the female?
ALIEN: It's complicated...
PREDATOR: Oh great! I should have listened to my mother. "Don't marry a genetically engineered bio weapon" she said. "Stick to your own species" she said. Hang on is this to do with that thing you shoved down my throat the other night!?
ALIEN: You said you enjoyed it.
PREDATOR: That was before I realized you had impregnated me with a penis shaped monster that would burst out of my chest!
ALIEN: It's not a monster! It has a name!
PREDATOR: Go on then what is it's name?
ALIEN: (Pause) Alien...
PREDATOR: Brilliant! How original.
ALIEN: So says Predator, son of Predator and Predator. What are you doing with that thing on your wrist?
PREDATOR: You'll see.
ALIEN: Oh go on then, blow the bloody neighbourhood up! That's your answer to everything isn't it.
PREDATOR: That's it 10 second left. Any last words?
ALIEN: I could never stand your dreadlocks, they are so seventies! Wow that feels so good to say it! You got anything to say?
PREDATOR: You couldn't do that throat thing again could you...