Election Monitor - Volume 1:
The manner in which both Swinson and Farage donned boxing gloves was somewhat stomach turning. Clearly both are just looking for a punch up rather than any sort of compromise. Not one but two disgraced Tories have stood down so that their wives can stand in their place. I had hoped that the Cons had moved on from the position where hubby talks through his wife and works her like a puppet but regrettably not. Corbyn has ditched his glasses for vanity purposes and contrary to what was said the scarf he was wearing wasn't tartan. It was a rainbow under which the crock of gold is to be replaced by a note in 2021 saying "McDonnell spaffed it - PM Patel, you are the new Maggie, the best of British luck". The "O" that Sturgeon stuck her head inside if it wasn't a testament to the female orgasm just proved that she hasn't the guts to poke herself through a fairground cartoon cow. The sort at which people on stag and hen dos chuck recently yellowed undergarments and a soapy sponge. And, hey, Hoeys' voting DUP. A big ta-ta then to all her LGBT voters in Vauxhall.
Donny. See that. That's what happens when you walk the walk and bother to risk living in the North for a few years.as I did Donny. Darlo. I'm street in all of the vernacular. The quaintly named Fishlake where an ark will appear any time soon upon the floods is in what constituency? You don't know, do you? It's Ed Miliband's. I know he has been there briefly but, my God, is he operating in the dark so as not to attract the attention of the national media. Their council is Labourite too.
Life was already full of too many questions. How come all the ecology books I bought in the early 1980s by people like Jonathon Porritt were full of dire warnings about the imminent ice age and the oil running out in 50 years when all of a sudden it is unlimited oil for all for ever more and the fear of global warming? What ever happened to Lib Dem Mark Oaten? Did he follow the path of the photo in his campaign leaflets and stay with his spouse or pursue his alternative career of three-in-a bed romps with rent boys? If it was the latter was he a trailblazer for Keith Vaz or even some Blunt?
Yet now there are so many more. Just how many identities does "I change what I say every hour" Jon Ashworth have when it comes to the NHS and aren't all GPs on a one day a week millionaire salary anyway? Whatever happened to Tommy Robinson? Is there a news blackout or has he gone back to being Mr double-barrelled Yaxley-Lennon? What of Respect and George Galloway? Has gorgeous George gone shy or been stifled by MI5 and the FBI? And is Nigel saying that he is not going to vote when he says that he won't vote Tory? After all, he lives in a Tory constituency where TBP won't be standing. He is fast becoming a beatnik. Our troops did not fight for the right to vote so that the likes of him can wear loon pants. Oh, and was the Wera Hobhouse interview with Iain Dale the worst performance ever by a politician? No - but it is easily in the Top 10. As far as I know, she is that German rarity who isn't related to Bismarck which is presumably why she stands in a superior country. Obviously every other candidate has stood aside for her in the "No Election" Alliance.