British Comedy Guide

Mr Straight Man and Mr Comic Relief

Avatar

Yacob Wingnut

  • Thursday 30th June 2016, 12:22pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 705 posts

Hi All

Here's a cartoon I made recently: https://youtu.be/k0zSHxxV1KU

It's longer than what I typically make. Not sure what the reaction to it will be. Looking forward to any comments on the script, look, voices, music, sound and anything else.

Best Wishes
Yacob

Avatar

Nick Nockerty

  • Thursday 30th June 2016, 12:38pm
  • Greater Manchester, England
  • 656 posts

I love it. Good punch line, a distinct style and a professional feel. The animation of the clown leaving was a bit clunky. The voices are top notch and your credits might upset someone litigious. But that's just nit picking, it's a winner.

Avatar

Yacob Wingnut

  • Thursday 30th June 2016, 2:54pm
  • England
  • 705 posts

Thanks man. Didn't consider someone litigious might have an issue with the credits, but I suppose it's possible.

I might send this to a few producer/script editor types - see if they ever talk to me again.

And I approve of the snoopy avatar! (big Peanuts fan here :) )

Avatar

gappy

  • Friday 1st July 2016, 8:41am
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,019 posts

I thought that was fun. I agree the wobbly exit could be smoother, but otherwise the visuals were very good, esp the focus when the pen is moving.

I can't help but think that wasn't big enough to be a vat, but I suspect I'm the only one who'll think that, ever. Laughing out loud

Avatar

Yacob Wingnut

  • Friday 1st July 2016, 1:26pm
  • England
  • 705 posts

You can insult my drawing, my acting, my writing, my mother, BUT HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY UNDERSTANDING OF HOW BIG OR SMALL A VAT CAN BE!! :)

Hmm, yes, I should have added more frames to Mr CR leaving the room.

Avatar

gappy

  • Friday 1st July 2016, 3:41pm
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,019 posts
Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ 1st July 2016, 1:26 PM BST

You can insult my drawing, my acting, my writing, my mother, BUT HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY UNDERSTANDING OF HOW BIG OR SMALL A VAT CAN BE!! :)

Hmm, yes, I should have added more frames to Mr CR leaving the room.

Need to increase your vat? Add 20%.

:$