British Comedy Guide

Stand up opener

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Jodan

  • Saturday 18th June 2016, 8:53am
  • England
  • 23 posts

Hi all,
Just wondering if anyone knows if this joke has been done before. I'm not planning on doing any stand up or anything it just popped into my head and was curious.

"I've been told to imagine my audience naked if I get nervous standing up here. I just wish grandma didn't insist on coming to all my gigs. "

Feel free to edit!

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gappy

  • Saturday 18th June 2016, 9:53am
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,019 posts
Quote: Jodan @ 18th June 2016, 8:53 AM BST

Hi all,
Just wondering if anyone knows if this joke has been done before. I'm not planning on doing any stand up or anything it just popped into my head and was curious.

"I've been told to imagine my audience naked if I get nervous standing up here. I just wish grandma didn't insist on coming to all my gigs. "

Feel free to edit!

I've not heard it,. but I've heard lots of riffs on that phrase. Seems like a feasible line to use, would probably get laughs.

If I had the bottle I'd like to walk onto a stage completely nude, stroke my chin, look to the skies and muse "hmm...an audience". Then have someone shout from the wings "that's not what I meant by imagine your audience naked!"

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Yorick

  • Saturday 18th June 2016, 4:24pm
  • Rochester, England
  • 29 posts

To overcome nerves, they tell comics..."Imagine your audience naked". That was fine till tonight. There's someone in the third row I RECOGNISE. (shakes fist) DAMN YOU GRANDMA!

(Or stand on a mirror. That's another way of looking at it!)