[MORGAN SPURLOCK enters his AGENT's office]
AGENT: Morgan! God to see you, take the weight off.
MORGAN: How you doing, Stan?
AGENT: Can't complain, can't complain. Now, shall we get down to business, Morgan?
MORGAN: Sounds good. Why did you call me in?
AGENT: We need to get you working again.
MORGAN: What do you mean? I've been doing a lot of work recently - let me tell you about a little idea I've got for a -
AGENT: Yeah, yeah, yeah, brilliant. But, I mean, we need to get you *doing* something again. LIke, doing one thing for ages, like the old days. I know you do all this cockamamie shit, but that don't interest the general public. We need a new gimmick, you know? Like in Supersize Me.
MORGAN: Well, that wasn't made to be a hit, it just caught the public eye.
AGENT: We want a hit, we can *make* a hit! We need another wacky thing for you to do. Like - and bear with me here, you're the film-maker - how about you had to hop everywhere for a month? Wouldn't that be a great film? Or, like - you'll love this - if you tried to only use one cent pieces for, like, a year, see what scrapes that got you in, huh?
MORGAN: One cent pieces?
AGENT: Yeah. "Hold on, Mr cab driver, I'm a madman for the copper coins". We could call it Penny For The Guy. Or Cent To Try Us. Or...whatever, we can work on the title later. How does that grab you?
MORGAN: It doesn't really address any meaningful issues. I like to look at real problems in my work.
AGENT: Problems, got you. Well, here's another idea. You did the thing where you only ate McDonald's food. How about we swap it over? You eat all the normal stuff, but try not defecate for as long as possible. Morgan Spurlock sees how long he can keep from going to the bathroom: oops, what sort of troubles will this madcap scheme get him into? Ker-ching!!
MORGAN: We're not doing No Shit Spurlock! We've been through this before! Why must you always try to force me down this idiotic path?
AGENT: Well, that's what you do. It's why I signed you as my client. The funny bet man. You're the guy who only eats burgers, you're the guy who goes round the Isle Of Wight carrying an oven, and plays snooker with the Latvian Eurovision guys.
MORGAN: Do you actually know who I am?
AGENT: I know who you are, son! You're the act I'm tied to who had one big hit but never delivered again. Plus you never followed up on all that skateboarding stuff. I don't run an agency along those lines. You're finished! You like that, huh? Make a film about that serious problem, kid, because you're fired! I need consistent winners, not one trick ponies.
MORGAN: Fine by me!
AGENT: Good riddance. Oh, and send in Tasmin Archer as you're going out, would you?