Toilet humour

There's a wealth of comedy scratched and written on and in public toilets, so let's be having the best you have come across.

And I am given to understand that some of the best and filthiest are to be seen in lady's loos, so come on girls lay some on us too. :D

Here are some starters:-

In the cubicle........(an oldie from when it was only a penny)

"Here I sit broken hearted
Paid my penny and only farted."

At the urinal.........

"Please do not drop fag ends in the urinal as it makes them difficult to light"

On the condom machine..........(a play on the ice cream van slogan)

"Buy Me and Stop One"

Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat.

Sometimes you get pissed off!

I enjoyed the "give peace a chance" - Jesus
which was quickly ammended to "give chance a peace" signed Adam Chance

I used to collect all those old Nigel Rees books when I was younger. He always seemed to hang around in public toilets that were home to graffiti scribblers a lot more sophisticated and witty than the ones that hung around my home town:

Image
Quote: Agnes Guano @ 1st June 2015, 11:39 AM BST

I used to collect all those old Nigel Rees books when I was younger. He always seemed to hang around in public toilets that were home to graffiti scribblers a lot more sophisticated and witty than the ones that hung around my home town:

Image

Did he take his camera into the public toilets and take photos?

Unlikely-Boots would be a bit suspicious...

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 11th May 2015, 11:58 AM BST

Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat.

Sometimes you get pissed off!

hhahaha, you made my day!! "public hair on a toliet seat" LOL

Saw this graffiti years ago in a Gents.

"Don't come in here to piss about."

"So have a piss and piss off out."

"Man who stands on toilet, is high on pot."

Some come to write their wit upon these walls

I come to shit and scratch my balls

I saw my dad's name on a toilet wall once

my favourite is an old and simple one

on the left wall
'look right to play toilet tennis'

on the right wall
'look left to play toilet tennis'

hehehe...lmao!

Quote: An incurable romantic @ 7th June 2015, 12:00 AM BST

I saw my dad's name on a toilet wall once

Kilroy was it?

On a condom machine in a pubs men's room. "If empty, see barman. If full, see barmaid" and down by where the condoms come out "for refund, insert baby here".