Public Toilets

(Man has just finished using the urinal in a public toilet, now washing his hands. Only one of the cubicle doors are locked)

Man walks to sink to wash his hands, before hearing the voices of 2 women in the cubicle.

Man: (extremely confused, the man asks) "Hello? You realise this is a men's toilet?"

(The voices continue, the women don't seem to acknowledge the man)

Man: "Fine, be that way"

(Man begins washing his hands. After turning off the tap the sound of moans come from the same cubicle)

Man: "Are you two alright in there? Is this what a period sounds like?" (Asks cluelessly)

(Again, no reply.)

Woman 1: "My pussy is so wet"

(Man turns to cubicle almost instantly)

Woman 2: "mmm"

(Man moves closer to cubicle, placing his ear on the wall of it)

(Moans continue, the man gets more and more aroused. He decides to take advantage of the situation and go into an empty cubicle, pushing his jeans to the floor)

Woman 2: "oh f**k yeah!" (Screams)

(Man begins masturbating to their moans)

(Eventually, the man finishes masturbating, leaving the cubicle. Just as he leaves the cubicle, the women stop making a sound)

Man: "Enjoy yourself in there?" (Asks with a grin as he walks by the occupied cubicle)

(Cubicle door opens, out steps a 14 year old boy holding his smartphone. The man looks at the phone to see a paused porn video. The boy gives one look of disgust to the man before running out of the toilet)

Man: (stares at boy as he leaves, jaw-dropped and speechless)

(About 20 seconds later the boy returns to the toilet with his father. The father is a particularly large, intimidating man)

Father: "So your the one watching my son masturbate?" (He asks with anger in his eyes, the boy nods)

Man: "No! I didnt watch!"

Father: "But you were happy to listen to him and encourage him afterwards, were you?"

Man: "N-No...I didnt realise..." (Terrified, the man takes a few steps back before reaching the back wall)

Father: "Step outside, son" (says while getting closer to the man) "but keep that video open for me will you?"

Boy: "Of course, dad. You don't need to keep asking me every time" (boy replies, leaving the toilet)

Seems a bit of weird premise - why do the father and son team keep doing this? You should be a bit more daring, have the man having sex with the boy, then the father.

This seems more like a fantasy than a sketch!

Didn't find any humour in it I'm afraid.

I don't know what to make of this. There doesn't seem to be any real comedy to me because all 3 of them are acting in insanely non-standard ways. I'm not saying it's wrong to have a quick one in the gents' if you like, but it's not what most people do, and it means that we have no sympathy here.

So, if somebody misunderstood a situation, thought someone was havin a heart attack in a cubicle (say) and burst in on a boy with his trousers down, it woudl be logical for the father to duff them up, and it (might) be funny because we have some Curb Your Enthusiasm style sympathy for the protagonist.

Hi Ben,

I'd recommend reading Steve Kaplan's book on comedy. It's called The Serious Business of Being Funny and would help you a great deal I think.