British Comedy Guide

Brian Brane - sitdown comedian

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Brian Brane

  • Thursday 1st January 2015, 10:50am [Edited]
  • Here, England
  • 174 posts

I have noticed that many standup comedians these days use one liners of "jokes" to stamp their humour on your face. Unfortunately my humour is conceptual humour, it requires a lot of book reading and intelligence to undrstand, and then find mildly amusing. Which makes my humour somewhat disadvantaged on this planet.

BUT I can do "jokes" too.
I even used to do shows on the Moby boards.

These days I find it hard to tie my shoe laces, not because I am disabled in some way, but because I cannot be arsed.

Anyway, I think I should at least make an effort every now and again to write a "joke", so here is one:

I asked my son "Is the glass half full or half empty?"
He retorted "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE REST OF MY DRINK!?"

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Basil Rathbon

  • Tuesday 3rd February 2015, 12:34pm
  • South Yorkshire, England
  • 79 posts

Do you have a day job, Brian? If so, I suggest you stick to it!

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Brian Brane

  • Monday 4th May 2015, 8:34pm
  • Here, England
  • 174 posts

Yes, I have a job.
I am planning to continue with it too.

From your response I infer that you did not discover the humour in the joke.
Let me explain.
My son had a full glass of liquid.
I drink half of it, and ask:
"Is the glass half full or half empty?"
He then replies "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE REST OF MY DRINK!?"

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Chappers

  • Monday 4th May 2015, 9:47pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 31,500 posts

If you think this planet isn't good enough for you why don't you go to another one?

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Gordon Bennett

  • Tuesday 5th May 2015, 10:10am [Edited]
  • Basel, Switzerland
  • 19,199 posts
Quote: Brian Brane @ 1st January 2015, 10:50 AM GMT

I asked my son "Is the glass half full or half empty?"
He retorted "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE REST OF MY DRINK!?"

Quote: Brian Brane @ 1st January 2015, 10:50 AM GMT

my humour is conceptual humour, it requires a lot of book reading and intelligence to undrstand, and then find mildly amusing.

"War & Peace", "Wuthering Heights", "The Tell Tale Heart"...any more before I have a chance to get your joke?

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Chappers

  • Tuesday 5th May 2015, 10:27am
  • Surreyish., England
  • 31,500 posts
Quote: Brian Brane @ 1st January 2015, 10:50 AM GMT

Unfortunately my humour is conceptual humour, it requires a lot of intelligence to undrstand,

What a shame we are not on the same planet as you. It must be so difficult having to put up with all us plebs.

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Loopey

  • Tuesday 5th May 2015, 6:15pm
  • Fairyland, England
  • 2,635 posts

What is this thread actually about Brian? Did you want feedback on your joke or perhaps a chat about how intelligent we have to be to get your humour? I don't get the joke and I don't get the 'sitdown' bit. If you are thinking of writing one liners you could learn a lot from Tim Vine.

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Brian Brane

  • Friday 4th November 2016, 9:23pm
  • Here, England
  • 174 posts

The sit down bit, is because I am not getting out of my comfy seat to tell anyone anything.

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Frankie Mildly Perturbed

  • Monday 7th November 2016, 1:12pm [Edited]
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5,497 posts

I got your joke.
As you predicted I found it mildly amusing.

'What planet are you from?' is a phrase I have often had hurled at me and I have never thought of a suitable retort as I have always felt that it was out of my control, the planet.

I have never felt the need to offer anyone advice about their day job (keeping it or otherwise) as I have always believed that a boys moms sound advice is what's best regarding these matters. My mom was only too glad that I was able to get any sort of day job (considering..) I think she moved or something whilst I was at work, she've gone anyway..

Not getting out of ones comfy seat sounds OK as long as it's a commode..

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Brian Brane

  • Monday 7th November 2016, 7:56pm
  • Here, England
  • 174 posts

Not so much as joke, more a telling.

Here's a joke:
I know Mark Kermode's brother, Wan.