British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 7

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sootyj

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 10:49pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

You couldn't write a pro joke, if your fancy writers lamp depended on it

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Marc P

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 10:54pm
  • England
  • 17,698 posts

Two hookers woke up in the morning and one said to the other.
'Ere Sharon my mouth feels like the bottom of a parrots cage.' The other said ... 'I'm not surprised you had a cockatoo in it last night!'

That's a pro joke.

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sootyj

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 10:56pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

that is an old joke poorly framed with a smutty architecture

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danphobic

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 10:57pm
  • london, England
  • 224 posts
Quote: Marc P @ 11th January 2014, 10:54 PM GMT

Two hookers woke up in the morning and one said to the other.
'Ere Sharon my mouth feels like the bottom of a parrots cage.' The other said ... 'I'm not surprised you had a cockatoo in it last night!'

That's a pro joke.


Never heard anyone use the word 'cockatoo' in a humourous fashion before. You've definitely hit on something there.

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Marc P

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 10:58pm
  • England
  • 17,698 posts
Quote: sootyj @ 11th January 2014, 10:56 PM GMT

that is an old joke poorly framed with a smutty architecture


Yeah but I wrote it ;) so there!

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sootyj

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 11:04pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

I say I say why did the RSPCA put Sherlock Holmes on the sex offenders register
Because he went every where with a deer stalker

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Marc P

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 11:08pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 17,698 posts

Because of Watson his cock!

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Steve Sunshine

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 11:10pm
  • Dagenham, England
  • 14,610 posts

Why did Sherlock Holmes play 12 inch Jenga
Because the game is a foot Watson

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danphobic

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 11:17pm [Edited]
  • london, England
  • 224 posts

Sherlock and Watson attending the annual woodland animals motivational conference,
Sherlock is told to leave because he kept trying to wear the Deers talker.

Quote: Marc P @ 11th January 2014, 11:08 PM GMT

Because of Watson his cock!


I really like that.

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sootyj

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 11:20pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 11th January 2014, 11:10 PM GMT

Why did Sherlock Holmes play 12 inch Jenga
Because the game is a foot Watson


I prefer that

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Marc P

  • Saturday 11th January 2014, 11:21pm
  • England
  • 17,698 posts

We know you do pervert ,

Quote: danphobic @ 11th January 2014, 11:17 PM GMT

I really like that.


Cheers. :) I'm here all week

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gappy

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 11:29am
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,067 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 11th January 2014, 5:44 PM GMT

My father was a failed epileptic. No great shakes.

:D

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sootyj

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 11:29am
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

just finished a speech on happy marriages for a guy from UAE
resisted adding

Women can't live with them
Can't live without them
Can't have them stoned to death
actually you can.

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Stephen Goodlad

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 11:37am
  • Mirfield, England
  • 3,708 posts

I told the doctor I have an irresistible urge to get an hacksaw and cut into high voltage live cables.

He said it was a phase I'm going through

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 12:32pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,366 posts

I want to be a mover and shaker. So I joined the epileptics association.