British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 255

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 29th March 2021, 10:39am [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,749 posts

What's the point of finding a cure for Alzheimer's? By the time you've finished explaining...

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Definitely Tarby

  • Tuesday 30th March 2021, 12:53am
  • United Kingdom
  • 2,223 posts

The biggest joke around here is Michael f**king Monkhouse but try telling him that. He'll just wank it off and keep on coming.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Tuesday 30th March 2021, 7:48am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,749 posts

You're just jealous because I know so many jokes and Interesting Facts About the Spice Girls.
I took the tube in the nude. Paddington bare.
I meditated in the nude. Yogi bare.
I listened to One Direction in the nude. No I didn't. They're shit.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 3rd April 2021, 5:26pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,749 posts

What did Michael Jackson during Tellietubbies? Beat it. Just beat it.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 4th April 2021, 10:12am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,749 posts

What's the difference between Jesus and Berlusconi? Jesus needed three days to come back.

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Stephen Goodlad

  • Sunday 4th April 2021, 1:53pm
  • Mirfield, England
  • 4,112 posts

One for you Michael.
I walked into a room full of people wanking.
They were shocked that I didn't stop.

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Stephen Goodlad

  • Saturday 10th April 2021, 8:24am
  • Mirfield, England
  • 4,112 posts

I think I'm in the shit.
My wife has found the letters I was hiding.
She'll never play Scrabble with me again.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 10th April 2021, 10:28am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,749 posts

50 lions masturbating to Niagra. Pride comes before a fall.

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Steve Sunshine

  • Saturday 10th April 2021, 10:58am
  • Dagenham, England
  • 14,776 posts

When I met the King of the Netherlands I couldn't remember the correct term of address
Really? it was probably your Highness
Steady on I'd only had half a joint