British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 251

Avatar

alison blunderland

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 9:24am
  • United Kingdom
  • 50 posts

I think lockdown may have been making me eat more than usual. I got dressed this morning and noticed all my buttons have begun socially distancing from each other.

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 12:14pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,632 posts

My wife's forbidden me from watching Spice Girls videos. I'm in cockdown.

Avatar

alison blunderland

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 12:57pm
  • United Kingdom
  • 50 posts

What's the difference between Covid-19 and 'Romeo and Juliet'?

One's a Coronavirus and the other's a Verona Crisis.

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 1:52pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,632 posts

Shakespeare didn't know what to call his son. Toby or...?

AvatarBCG Supporter

Chappers

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 5:37pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 31,750 posts
Quote: alison blunderland @ 22nd January 2021, 12:57 PM

What's the difference between Covid-19 and 'Romeo and Juliet'?

One's a Coronavirus and the other's a Verona Crisis.

Laughing out loud

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 22nd January 2021, 7:36pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,632 posts

What does a lucky penis have in common with Buggles? Horn and lips on.

Avatar

alison blunderland

  • Sunday 24th January 2021, 9:35am
  • United Kingdom
  • 50 posts

All the babies currently being conceived in lockdown - in 2033, are they going to be known as 'quaranteens'?

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 25th January 2021, 9:33am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,632 posts

My wife thinks my sense of humour is childish-cum-predictable. Ha ha! 'Cum'!

Avatar

alison blunderland

  • Monday 25th January 2021, 9:43am
  • United Kingdom
  • 50 posts

All the babies currently being conceived in lockdown - when they're born and for the rest of their lives, are they going to be known as 'Coronials'?

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 25th January 2021, 10:32am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,632 posts

Latest sex offender suspect is Scooby Doo. Meddlin' kids.

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 27th January 2021, 6:33pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,632 posts

Used condoms are more expensive. They've got over heads.

Avatar

Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Thursday 28th January 2021, 7:48pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 189 posts

On this day 28th January 1912 American painter Jackson Pollock was born. A leading exponent of Abstract Expressionism for his radical poured "drip" technique, but his major work was known by his critiques as a load of old pollocks.

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Thursday 28th January 2021, 8:48pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,632 posts

Scientists say they can clone 'Speed' actress Sandra 7639 times. What a load of Bullocks.

Avatar

Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Saturday 30th January 2021, 8:53am
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 189 posts

On this day 30th January 1933 the fiction character the Lone Ranger was introduced on radio station WXYZ in Detroit, Michigan. It was broadcast on the radio at Tonto six in the evening.