British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 247

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alison blunderland

  • Sunday 8th November 2020, 2:47pm
  • United Kingdom
  • 29 posts

'Swan Song'

I say KaMAYla and you say KaMARla.
I say I hate her but you say you heart her.
KaMAYla, KaMARla, I hate her, you heart her.
Let's call the whole thing off.

No, seriously guys. It needs to be called off. The ballot was rigged. And what's with the white coats? Take your hands off meeeeeee!

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paulted

  • Sunday 8th November 2020, 3:39pm
  • 127 Inkerman Terrace, Newcastle, England
  • 635 posts

Biden........Bye Don. Lets call the whole thing off. Rumour has it that Trump has commited suicide by hanging. It was however FAKE NOOSE. Boom boom........aythangyew.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Thursday 12th November 2020, 6:57pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,370 posts

First ever female Vice-President! A huge step forward in women's liberation... And she's a pretty little thing too.

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Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Thursday 12th November 2020, 11:24pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 17,470 posts
Quote: paulted @ 8th November 2020, 3:39 PM

Biden........Bye Don. Lets call the whole thing off. Rumour has it that Trump has commited suicide by hanging. It was however FAKE NOOSE. Boom boom........aythangyew.

Very good :D, [ but you forgot the Thrrrrump Tishhhhhh.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 13th November 2020, 11:36am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,370 posts

What did John Lennon say to Ian Curtis? I know you're depressed, but nothing to get hung about.
What did John Lennon say to Ian Curtis the next day? Let me take you down.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 15th November 2020, 9:01am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,370 posts

You're a compulsive gambler. - Wanna bet?

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paulted

  • Sunday 15th November 2020, 9:55am
  • 127 Inkerman Terrace, Newcastle, England
  • 635 posts

Why is it that when a woman claims to have numerous sexual partners she's called a "slag", but when I make the same claim people call me a "fat, ugly, lying bastard"?

Benedict Cumberbatch has been told that he's constipated.
No shit Sherlock.......

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 16th November 2020, 3:57pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,370 posts
Quote: paulted @ 15th November 2020, 9:55 AM

No shit Sherlock.......

Watson, I'm constipated.
Leslie Crowther jerks off to feathers. Come on down.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 22nd November 2020, 12:45pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,370 posts

I want to be the largest city in Pennsylvania. - Don't be Philly.