British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 245

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Steve Sunshine

  • Thursday 22nd October 2020, 3:45pm
  • Dagenham, England
  • 14,614 posts

A Horse walks into a bar and then walks out again
The barman says why the Volte face?

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rrr 969

  • Thursday 22nd October 2020, 5:22pm [Edited]
  • Odessa, Ukraine
  • 228 posts

A Horse in a feedbag walks into a bar:
"So what? Find me a suitable mask!"
(c)
Image

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billwill

  • Friday 23rd October 2020, 6:05pm
  • North London, England
  • 5,833 posts

M,N,B,V,C,X,?

If you find the answer, don't spoil it for the rest, don't spell out the reasoning.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 26th October 2020, 8:37am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,373 posts

Sarah Jessica Parker and her twin sister signed up to university. But that's just horses for courses.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Tuesday 27th October 2020, 1:44pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,373 posts

Necrophilia gigs. I wouldn't be seen dead in one.

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Stephen Goodlad

  • Tuesday 27th October 2020, 2:16pm
  • Mirfield, England
  • 3,719 posts

What happened to good old funny jokes??
Like
Seb Coe decides he'll have all his old athletic mates round for lunch.
He tells them they have to contribute to it though.
Steve Cram brings the chips
Daly Thomson brings the fish
Steve Ovett turns up with mushy peas.
As they're sitting down there's a knock at the door.
'who's that Seb?
It's Fatima Whitbread.

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Hercules Grytpype Thynne

  • Tuesday 27th October 2020, 3:15pm
  • England
  • 17,483 posts

And as a church bell tolls mournfully in the distance, we watch as a single tumbleweed rolls along, seemingly in tune with the pitiful howling of a lone fox.

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Steve Sunshine

  • Tuesday 27th October 2020, 11:41pm
  • Dagenham, England
  • 14,614 posts

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dejav!
Dejav Who?
Knock Knock

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 28th October 2020, 8:51am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,373 posts

What's the difference between the Trump Appreciation Society and the Spice Girls? None. In both cases, you're watching five c**ts.

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gappy

  • Thursday 29th October 2020, 10:40am
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,074 posts
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 22nd October 2020, 3:45 PM

A Horse walks into a bar and then walks out again
The barman says why the Volte face?

I like this.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Thursday 29th October 2020, 12:40pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,373 posts

Helena Bonham Carter knows the secret of working with top producers. Its her middle name.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 30th October 2020, 8:44am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,373 posts

What's the difference between problems and men? My mother won't let problems get on top of her.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 30th October 2020, 9:32am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,373 posts

Which producer feeds ghosts? Fill Spectre.

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Steve Sunshine

  • Friday 30th October 2020, 4:18pm
  • Dagenham, England
  • 14,614 posts

What's the difference between Walter White and a man with Piccalilli in their eyes ?

One is Bryan Cranston
And the other is Cryin' Branston

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Steve Sunshine

  • Saturday 31st October 2020, 8:10pm
  • Dagenham, England
  • 14,614 posts

Boris Johnson has just raised the United Kingdoms Covid 19 alert level from Bubble Bubble
to Toil & trouble