British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 241

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Sunday 30th August 2020, 6:40pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts
Quote: gappy @ 30th August 2020, 4:25 PM

This is not a good joke, but on the plus side, I actually dreamt this, it might be the first time I've come up with a functioning pun in my sleep.

How did the area manager know which of their landlords had not cleaned the pub toilets?
Based purely on inn stink.

ha ha

Quote: alison blunderland @ 28th August 2020, 11:21 AM

I was in a bar last night and some guy was hitting on me. I wasn't interested at first but he bought me a gin and tonic, then another, then another . . . then another. At the end of the night, he asked me if I'd like to go back to his place, so I said yes. What else could I do? He'd Schwepped me off my feet.

ha ha

Quote: alison blunderland @ 30th August 2020, 11:01 AM

I'm also struggling with a difficult decision. I can't decide if I should get engaged to my boyfriend. If I get engaged, on the one hand I'll have a beautiful diamond ring to show off but on the other hand I WON'T.

ha ha

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alison blunderland

  • Monday 31st August 2020, 10:04am
  • United Kingdom
  • 22 posts

They say Eskimo women have a sixth sense but I don't think it's actually a psychic power. It's probably just female Inuitition.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 31st August 2020, 11:40am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,223 posts

What do you get if you cross Lady Gaga and a mongoose? A freak.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Monday 31st August 2020, 2:09pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts

On Netflix, a scary monster is killed by a red indian. Its an Arrow Movie.

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alison blunderland

  • Tuesday 1st September 2020, 3:08pm
  • United Kingdom
  • 22 posts

Behind every great man there's a great woman, and behind every great woman there's some guy checking out her arse.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Tuesday 1st September 2020, 4:58pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,223 posts

They say men can't think about two things at once. Tits?

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Tuesday 1st September 2020, 9:15pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 129 posts
Quote: alison blunderland @ 1st September 2020, 3:08 PM

Behind every great man there's a great woman, and behind every great woman there's some guy checking out her arse.

Lol

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Flook

  • Thursday 3rd September 2020, 9:21am
  • Devon, England
  • 304 posts

They are giving away unfunny ones

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alison blunderland

  • Thursday 3rd September 2020, 3:24pm
  • United Kingdom
  • 22 posts

Whenever anybody nicks my stuff, I just tell myself for a comedian intellectual property theft is the sincerest form of flattery.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Thursday 3rd September 2020, 9:04pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,223 posts

David Beckham is suing over intellectual property. It's the first time 'David Beckham' and 'intellectual' have been used in the same sentence.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 5th September 2020, 8:00am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,223 posts

What's the difference between Berlusconi and herpes? Herpes might go away.

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rrr 969

  • Tuesday 8th September 2020, 11:35am
  • Odessa, Ukraine
  • 193 posts

They say on TV that you need to go shopping in mask and gloves. I went and I was deceived again! Everyone in store was wearing clothes except me

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Buggers Muddle

  • Tuesday 8th September 2020, 5:17pm
  • Askett HP27 9LL, United Kingdom
  • 5 posts

The Mediterranean Ocean, The Caspian Ocean, The Dead Ocean.... I don't like using the sea word .