British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 234

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Tuesday 9th June 2020, 2:13pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,083 posts

I never liked Hooky, but then I saw the Light.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Wednesday 10th June 2020, 6:48pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 104 posts

A circus incontinent trapeze artist drowns out the applause

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 10th June 2020, 9:01pm [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,083 posts

Boy George gives therapy to impotent, constipated reptiles. 'Calmer, Chameleon. You'll come and go.'

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Thursday 11th June 2020, 12:11pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,083 posts

What's the difference between beef and pedos? Beef can be cured.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 14th June 2020, 4:47pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,083 posts

The Beatles ahead of their time... In 1963 they'd already created social distancing. Ringo was f**king miles behind.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 15th June 2020, 9:10pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,083 posts

What sounds like shit, looks like epilepsy and gives priests a boner? Tiktok.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Monday 15th June 2020, 10:50pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 104 posts

DIY enthusiasts queue for four hours to enter Screwfix. Oh my God four hours! Have they got a screw loose?

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Tuesday 16th June 2020, 11:52am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,083 posts

McCartney accused of relying on old material: 'And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know.'
McCartney accused of giving shit songs to other singers: 'Yes I must do something about it.'
McCartney accused of writing repetitive Bsides: 'It's not true. It's not true. It's not true.'
McCartney accused of liking One Direction: 'F**k off you c**t.'

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 17th June 2020, 9:18am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,083 posts

What's the difference between a fact and my mother? A fact has come to your attention.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Saturday 20th June 2020, 11:09pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 104 posts

Col De Sac says his social life as come to a dead end.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Monday 22nd June 2020, 8:36am
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 104 posts

Millennials don't buy newspapers today because they are full of sheets

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 22nd June 2020, 10:44am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,083 posts

One Direction say, Our new album is shit hot. That's only half true.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Tuesday 23rd June 2020, 4:17pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 5,083 posts

What's a cow's favourite breakfast cereal? Mooslie.
What's a cow's favourite fictional character? Moowglie.
What's a cow's favourite One Direction album? None. They're all shit. Even a f**king cow realises that.

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Rood Eye

  • Tuesday 23rd June 2020, 6:05pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 4,103 posts

The FA has bowed to pressure to combine men's and women's football in the interests of diversity and inclusion.

From next season, every football team in England and Wales has to be five men and five women but the goalie can be either gender as long as he/she wasn't born that way.