British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 231

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 17th May 2020, 9:38am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,672 posts

What do you call a cross between a good thief and a bad thief?

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Tuesday 19th May 2020, 2:22pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 33 posts

Help for Enochlophobia to be crowdfunded

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Wednesday 20th May 2020, 1:39pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 33 posts

OUT NOW new Star Wars mobile phone from Yodafone

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 20th May 2020, 4:16pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,672 posts

I've written an artcle to warn people about social network addiction. You can find it on Facebook, Twitter, Sype, LinkedIn, LinkedInPlus, Googleplus, WhatsApp, Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, Googleplusplus, QQ, YY, Wechat, Qzone, Baidu Tieba, Viber, Vine, Line, vk.com, Xing, Youtube, Renren, Snapchat, Twoo, Meetup, Secret, Medium, MySpace, Reddit, Flickr, Sina Weibo, BBM, Kakaotalk and Telegram.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 20th May 2020, 10:47pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,672 posts

I always abide by grammatical regulations. Them's the rules, innit.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Thursday 21st May 2020, 3:21pm [Edited]
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 33 posts

To protect their staff from Covid-19, a Joke Shop in Rotherham have asked customers to wear funny masks and also to wear hairy monster hands

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Rood Eye

  • Thursday 21st May 2020, 5:23pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 3,852 posts
Quote: Thief Of Bad Gags @ 21st May 2020, 3:21 PM

To protect their staff from Covid-19, a Joke Shop in Rotherham have asked customers to wear funny masks and also to wear hairy monster hands

That's a decent joke and it has excellent potential.

I can imagine someone like Harry Hill saying:

'People have been sending me suggestions about how to make life a little more fun while we're dealing with the coronavirus. I have one here that says "Instead of wearing boring facemasks and boring gloves, why don't we all wear funny face masks and hairy monster hands?" And that's from Keith who runs the Ha-Ha Joke Shop in Rotherham.'

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Thursday 21st May 2020, 5:47pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 33 posts

Lol thank you Rood. That reads great. Maybe I'm trying to write my gags like news stories? Thank you for your help, much appreciated

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Friday 22nd May 2020, 1:23pm
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 33 posts

Hi, are you an Intergalactic Space Traveller and you need cheap electricity?
Then you need HANS SOLO PANELS
Why not visit our Showroom it's not Far, Far Away

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 22nd May 2020, 3:27pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,672 posts

I'm a quickie castrator. Just chase to the cut.

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Rood Eye

  • Friday 22nd May 2020, 4:49pm
  • England
  • 3,852 posts

Q. What's the difference between a bull and Simply Red?

A. A bull has the horns at the front and the arse at the back.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 22nd May 2020, 6:44pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,672 posts

I split up with Stevie Wonder. At least he isn't seeing anyone.

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Thief Of Bad Gags

  • Sunday 24th May 2020, 11:53am
  • Rotherham, United Kingdom
  • 33 posts

Cummings stains the Prime Minister's Cabinet

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 24th May 2020, 1:07pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,672 posts

Cannibal lost a vomiting competition. Brought up the rear.
Gay lost a sex contest. Came up the rear.
One Direction lost a singing contest.