Tell us a joke Page 225

How many foreigners can you fit on the Isle of Wight?

All of them if you put them through an industrial mincer.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 9th February 2020, 12:02 PM

How many foreigners can you fit on the Isle of Wight?

All of them if you put them through an industrial mincer.

That's a decent joke and you're technically correct.

The snag is that the pile of mince would cover the entire island to a height of about 20 feet.

Not a pretty sight.

And not a pretty smell when the wind blows towards the mainland. Laughing out loud

What's the difference between Abbey Road and Abbey Road Remastered? 50 years.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 9th February 2020, 3:05 PM

What's the difference between Abbey Road and Abbey Road Remastered? 50 years.

I have to admit I like that one, Michael. Laughing out loud

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 9th February 2020, 3:05 PM

What's the difference between Abbey Road and Abbey Road Remastered? 50 years.

Give it 10 years for the "money for old rope special edition"

Who would have thought that Phillip Schofield worked for ITV all this time and really he preferred BBC.

I refuse to make puns about menstruation, period.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 9th February 2020, 4:26 PM

Who would have thought that Phillip Schofield worked for ITV all this time and really he preferred BBC.

Very good

What's Pistorius' least favourite musical? Footloose.
What's Pistorius' least favourite state of inebriation? Half-legless.
What's Pistorius' least favourite group? One Direction.

Why is Coronavirus like wanking? You wash your hands after.

What's the difference between foot and dick? My mother doesn't like foot in mouth.

I have always liked Corona, I see no reason to stop drinking it now.

What's the difference between Mrs Thatcher and coronavirus? Thatcher didn't close ALL the schools.

The carpenter kept a closely guarded secret, he had a filthy vice.

What did the carpenter say to the plane? I'm gonna level with you.