British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 222

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 29th March 2019, 10:22am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

What's the difference between money and a masturbator? Money might change hands.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 30th March 2019, 1:02pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

What does the priest do to 53 children? Bugger all.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Tuesday 16th April 2019, 11:20am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

Had an argument with the sun. I said, The world doesn't revolve around you.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Thursday 25th April 2019, 1:34pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

De Priest is like Mozart's Requiem Mass. It's stuck in De Minor.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 27th April 2019, 11:09am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

Last time I toured with Guns and Roses, I had fun hiding the portable toilets... They weren't amused. They said, Where do we go now?

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 29th April 2019, 11:56am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

My grandfather lost his pubes in the 'air raids.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 3rd May 2019, 4:00pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

The school bully made me stop using Greek. What an alpha male.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 4th May 2019, 11:39am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

I passed exams in queer studies, lesbian studies, gay studies, lesbigay studies and transgender studies. I got straight As.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 4th May 2019, 1:53pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

Watson, I'm constipated. - No shit, Sherlock?

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 15th May 2019, 7:14pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

What's the difference between imagination and a teen? Imagination comes to life, a teen lives to come.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 31st May 2019, 11:43am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

What does an Italian say to an American in Rome? Anything he likes, the c**t won't've learnt the language.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Tuesday 4th June 2019, 12:10pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

What do you say to a cockney baker when she runs out of dildoes? Use your loaf.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 7th June 2019, 9:35am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson menstruating.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Tuesday 11th June 2019, 9:19am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

Castration quickie. Let's chase to the cut.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 16th June 2019, 11:53am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,395 posts

John Travolta and Olivia Newton John in maths class. They're multiplyin'.